Until Never Means Forever

Chapter 5

Stefan stared at his blank computer screen for hours, having no energy to work. He hated the way he had left things with Elena. He should have been more understanding. Stood there and took whatever she said to him and let it go.

Sighing, he got up from his desk and went back upstairs. Elena was still in their room, sitting in the window and staring outside into the dark. Her whole body was tense. Her eyes were fixated on whatever it was she was staring at. "He bought me pretty things too, in the beginning" her voice said suddenly, eerily quiet, like she was in some sort of trance. But she wasn't. She was just so focused on the darkness just outside the window.

If it were possible for his heart to tear achingly slow inside of his chest, he would have told anyone that it was happening right then. Stefan kicked his boots off and slowly walked towards her. He lifted her forward slightly and sat behind her, bringing her to rest against him as he too stared out into the darkness. "Tell me more, about what he did" Stefan said, equally as quiet before he placed a soft kiss on her shoulder. Maybe that's what she needed. To talk about her past. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Her tension remained, but she didn't try and move. "Tell me" he encouraged, whispering in her ear before resting his head against hers.

He heard her breathe in and then out slowly. "When he met me, he told me I had the prettiest smile he had ever seen" she said. Stefan nodded against her, letting her know that he was still there with her, listening. "He said that I looked sad though, and I told him I was. He said he promised he would take all my sadness away" she remembered. "And then he kissed me. And I thought I was in love."

Stefan felt the warm tear that landed on his arm. "I'm sorry" Stefan whispered, wrapping his arms around her.

"I think about him. I have nightmares about him, about what he did to me. And I can't make it stop. Any of it" she told him regretfully.

"Why haven't you told me this?" he asked her. It was news to him. He hadn't seen her wake up all that often from nightmares. She had never mentioned that she was thinking about Derrick.

"I didn't want to worry you" Elena said.

Stefan nodded. "I know you don't like to worry me. But I worry about you. I don't want you to think about him, Elena. To wake up, afraid that he's still a part of your life" he said softly. "I love you. Tell me what I can do to help you?" he asked. Finally, she had realized that she hadn't actually seen Derrick.

Elena turned slowly so she could look at him, into his eyes. She wanted to give him an answer. "Nothing. There's nothing you can do" Elena said. And just like that, Stefan could see her retreating further into her darkness. The darkness that he had so easily assumed was gone. "I'm tired, Stefan" she said, so quietly that he almost didn't hear her.

He looked at her, really looked at her, but decided that sleep was probably the best thing for her right now. "Okay" he said, kissing her forehead. He steadied her as she got up and held his breath to see where she was going to sleep. He let it out when he watched her climb into their bed. She tucked herself into the blankets and closed her eyes. He wondered if she would have a nightmare that night too.

Stefan peeled his shirt off and dropped his jeans on the floor, leaving them. Usually, Elena would nag him about it, but she didn't today. Stefan climbed into bed and turned the lamp off. He was surprised that she snuggled up closer to him. Elena rested her head on his chest. "I'm sorry about what I said ... about you and Katherine" she whispered. "It was horrible of me to say. You didn't deserve that" she added.

Stefan kissed the top of her head, breathing in a sigh of relief. "You know that I would never do that to you, right?" he asked.

"Sleep around on me?" Elena asked quietly. She nodded. Yeah, she knew that. Well, she wanted to know that.