And They Were Roommates (A Sakusa Story)

13. Bokuaka pt 2; There For You

Word Count: 2107

Trigger warning: Mentions of cutting

Yooo I'm really proud of this!! Perfect blend of angst, humor, and happy endings. A satisfying end to this Bokuaka ending, with a fun bonus at the end and information for the next chapter towards the end lol. I am very happy with how this turned out.

How long had it been? It was almost midnight, and Akaashi was nowhere near done with his polar graphs project, but he didn't care. He just wanted to stop thinking these- these thoughts, because they grew realer with every passing minute. "Help me." Akaashi croaked, knowing no one would answer.

Then the phone lit up.

Two thoughts raced through Akaashi's head- 1) God is real? 2) Oh shit, what if it's Y/N?

But at this point Akaashi would've given anything to hear the voice of a friend, even one he'd let down before, so he picked up the phone without bothering to check the caller ID- again.

"Hello?"

"AkAAAshi!" Akaashi gasped. "I'm so happy you picked up!" Bokuto said.

"Well, I'm glad you called." Akaashi replied, smiling cautiously. Oh God, Bokuto was calling him. Bokuto had heard him somehow, and he was here. Just the sound of his senpai's voice was enough to melt half of his worries into honey, leaving Akaashi feeling stupidly happy. Kenma had told him he was 'head over heels' for Bokuto in the past and he'd denied it, but he couldn't ignore the relief he felt, nor what he'd been feeling for the past year.

"I can't believe you're awake! Did you remember too?" Bokuto asked excitedly.

Akaashi dug through his brain, trying to recall what Bokuto was talking about. Was this the day Owl City released their new single? "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, Bokuto-san. What is it?"

Bokuto groaned on the other end, and a stabbing pain punctured Akaashi. Normally a groan from Bokuto would prompt him to roll his eyes, but now it just made Akaashi wonder what he'd done wrong. He always did something wrong.

"Akaa-" Bokuto started, but Akaashi cut him off.

"I'm sorry."

There was a pause. Neither of them talked, only listening to the other's bated breath. "For what, Akaashi?" Bokuto questioned, pronouncing the younger's name decently for once.

"For just... not being good enough." Akaashi said quietly.

"Akaashi, what are you talking about?"

Akaashi buried his head in the crook of his arm, not knowing what to say. "You deserve a better setter, and a better friend." He told the phone, eyes glazed over and damp. "I'm sorry, Bokuto-san. I know my problems aren't real problems, but I just feel really worthless sometimes. I keep letting people down. Even you, Bokuto-san."

Akaashi wanted to cry, which only frustrated him more. He didn't deserve to cry when his friends were going through worse. His misery was punctuated by the silence hanging in the air. Akaashi waited a moment- then two, then three.

"Bokuto-san?" He grabbed his phone, dissolving into a state of panic.

Bokuto had hung up.

Slowly, like a machine, like something incapable of feeling, Akaashi leaned back in his chair. "I knew it," he said, bringing his hands up to dry his tears. They were flowing freely now, the only thing holding Akaashi together having been removed. "I knew it." Akaashi said, louder this time.

In a state of delirium, he stood to turn off the lights.
Surrounded by darkness, he fumbled over to the blinds (why couldn't he do anything right?) and pulled them open. Moonlight filtered through, casting pools of white onto his hands and face. Feeling drained of everything he was, Akaashi sunk into his bed and pulled a blanket over his head.