To Love, Once Again

Chapter 30

"...nd I pwanted looots and looots of 'lowers" Her baby stretches his arms out as wide as he can reach.

"Thiiiiiis much!"

Her son was a talkative ball of sunshine. His giggles were like tinkling silver bells, his smile sweeter than candy. He was perfect.

She wouldn't be surprised if she took an x-ray of him and all she found were rainbows, unicorns, soft blankets, yummy snacks, all the good things in life were in him. No wonder some parents would get so overprotective of their children. Children were precious treasures, irreplaceable.

His round white cheeks that felt like marshmallows under her fingertips made her want to take a bite. 

"They looked very pretty, you did such a great job!"

Sera claps her hands. He copies her, patting his palms together from his seat on her lap where they sat on the cot.

Her son crawls up over her shoulder, looking at her back. Tapping her back, tracing circles in the area around her shoulder blades like he's looking for something,

"Where your wings mama?"

"Wings?"

"Bea said Mama's faiwie"

Faiwie? 

"Why a fairy, baby?"

"Faiwies live in faiwieland." He tilts his head at her, confused why she doesn't know this. "Bea, Bea said Mama come home when lots n lot  'lowers "

"Oh honey,"

Sera takes a deep breath. She can't cry in front of him. What could you tell a 5-year old child when their mother was gone? No adult in their right mind would tell a young child that their mother left them. 

Bea never wavered in her belief that Sera would come back, which was why she told her son that Sera was a fairy. She thanks Bea in her heart for being such a great friend.

Seeing her sad expression, clear droplets leak from the corners of his eyes. Children his age were pure and innocent, living in a world where promises were never broken.

"Mama likes the 'lowers?"

Steadying her voice, she smiles so he isn't sad. 

"Yes, honey, Mama likes the 'lowers."

"Baby plant more 'lowers for Mama ouchie too"

Mama ouchie?

Her the poultice covering her rib wasn't visible under the material of her dress, so it couldn't be that.

He points at the marks circling her finger. Right when Sera was about to forget about it. He'd probably noticed when he was playing with her fingers on her lap.It takes up a throbbing rhythm again, her heart beating a dun, dun rhythm.She couldn't say, no, honey, this ouchie came for your father. Ermm..... Uhhhh.

A hesitant voice calls from behind the door

"Miss Sera? Are you there?"

What perfect timing.

"Miss Sera?"

That sounded like Fawn. Such a sweet girl. Was she injured?

Sera sets her son down on the cot to sit by himself, making sure there's no herbs nearby he can reach. Pushing it more to the corner of the room so that the cot's in a blind spot, she kisses his forehead, and whispers.

"Shhh, stay quiet ok? We can't stay together if they find you"

He nods enthusiastically like a bobblehead.

"I'll be qwiet Mama!"

"Shhhh"

He copies her and puts a small finger to his tiny lips "shhhhh"

One final check to make sure he's hidden. Good, he can't be seen from the door.

Sera opens the door, to Fawn, caught between knocks mid-way. 

"Hello Fawn! How have you been?"

She looks up and smiles. "I'm doing swell, Miss Sera!"

"Are you injured, Fawn?"

"Oh no, no Miss Sera, I came because of other things..I can't stay long, but I wanted to apologize first for asking you that question in the kitchens. My mouth tends to run off and blather on and on, Portia warned me to watch myself but-" Fawn smacks her mouth lightly. "I gotta keep reminding myself to shut up" she smiles at Sera.

"I've been wanting to apologize to you too, I overly reacted, Fawn"

"I'm glad we're both on the same page!" She looks happy to have gotten that off her chest.

Fawn searches for her next words to say, shifting from one foot to the other, her brown maid skirt swaying with her movements.

The words burst out of her like a released dam. 

"Do you know what Dorne's been telling everyone in the castle? Everyones believes it too, except me and Portia, and Vic that you're-" she grits her teeth, the terrible words she has to repeat to her idol, the former Queen Sera. 

Fawn's older sister was a great storyteller, telling young Fawn of what transpired during the Great War. The stories about Queen Sera's new medical ideas, her attempts to make women into soldiers, her beauty, and her kindness towards all turned Sera into a legendary being in Fawn's heart. 

It wasn't right for Miss Sera to come back and be treated this way.

"-they're saying you're a whore, paid by the King to be his temporary mistress before his marriage"

Angry, Fawn stamps her foot. 

"This isn't right! You've done so much for Thornmere, the streets are cleaner because of you, and the orphans-!"

Sera is not surprised at the rumors that swirl around the castle. What else could people think when the King's former lover appeared in the castle as a maid, and now his personal maid? 

"Miss Sera, you're not the King's mistress, right? You came back to take care of your son?"

Fawn looks at her with doe-like eyes, watering with tears threatening to spill out like a child. Her hands are folded over her heart in a prayer, like Sera was a holy mother that could do no wrong.

Sera felt like a celebrity whose fans believed in them no matter what they did. Although she wasn't Lucien's mistress, there was no clear line that delineated between her being Lucien's maid or bedwarmer. She worked for him, yes. So far, they've crossed into a sort of gray zone, where their relationship was unclear. Under his hands, she was like clay ready to be molded, losing herself to his touch.

After spending time with her son, Sera could feel her thoughts changing. If Lucien didn't love her, she wouldn't give him her body so readily anymore. Her self-respect wouldn't allow her to. She wasn't a lonely young girl. She was a mother, with a child that needed her. Sera had sold herself once already with the contract she'd signed herself away with before. There was no need to do it again.

"No, Fawn, I'm not his mistress. I only work for him as a maid now..."

"I knew it! I'll go tell the others! There's no way you would do something like that!"

Fawn hops up and down like an excited bunny, and runs off.

Sera sighed. After spending the night with her baby, she needed to talk to Lucien tomorrow, before the challenge. His marriage would come up after that, and she had to work up the courage before  everything was over. The rumors wouldn't be doing any good. 

Lois let her be when she returned to a anxious Sera doing her best to entertain her small child. She'd heard the rumors too when she went to get the pitcher, but blindly believing in gossip wasn't her style. They avoided the subject altogether as they played with the baby boy until it was time to sleep.