More Than Tongue Can Tell (RIREN// ERERI)

Chapter 16 - Intentions

Rivaille made sure to return me to the house in one piece, just as he'd promised, but I held him back before we went back inside.

"Wait, I have one more question," I said, holding him in place by his jacket and looking up at him.

"What's that?" he asked, leaning back into the porch column on the front step, his eyes practically rolling back in his head at the feeling of whatever kind of drug he was on.

"If Levi was on drugs, and he hadn't told me, and I asked you to tell me, would you tell me?" I asked, doubting more things that Levi had told me as of late.

"Only if you weren't afraid of being disappointed. I know you want him to be, but he isn't, kid. Trust me, he's begged me the last couple weeks. But I try not to deal to people that I know will kill themselves with it. It's bad for business," Rivaille laughed, a dark expression shading his face. "But let's talk about you, Mr. Xan-bar. You think nobody's gonna notice when you take one too many, or two, or three. How many have you had today? Four?" I froze, because in the last twenty-four hours, I had had no less than four pills. "I mean, that's just an educated guess. You ever played poker, kid?" I remained silent again, knowing that if I spoke, I would cry, and crying in the presence of any Ackerman other than Levi was a terrifying concept. "I asked you a question, maggot. You ever played poker?"

I was quick to nod, sniffing and rubbing the tears from my eyes. "Yeah," I choked. "Yeah, I have."

Rivaille took a moment before he spoke "Well I sure as hell wouldn't have known. You look like me when I was about ten years old. It was my first time playing poker socially, which was good for business. I want you to know I lost a thousand dollars that night. Wanna know why?"

I was hesitant to respond, but the insistence in his voice was not something I could have ignored. "Why?"

"Because the world doesn't wait up for you to get a good poker face, and I'm sure as hell not gonna wait around for you to break my cousin's fucking heart, okay? So, here's the crack, so to speak. I do this for you, and you're done with the xanax, okay, maggot? Are we completely understood? You find another fucking mood regulator because this one gives you fucking headaches, okay? Because I'm so fucking sick of Levi diluding himself into believing people can change for him, while you play the one person on the entire planet that has changed for anybody for a fucking fool, alright?

"Look, I'm not trying to be an asshole, and I really am happy to meet you and take care of you two, and if the situation ever arises, I'd be obligated to lay my life down for you, and I would do it with the same shit eating grin I always have on my face when I feel like I'm about to die. But you can't be sneaking around and pulling the wool over Levi's eyes. He trusts you right now, Eren, whether or not you trust him. Don't ruin that. And besides, that's not even the point. This isn't about you and Levi right now. This is about my brother, who was almost murdered." Rivaille paused for a long time, shaking his head, almost like he was trying not to speak. "Welcome to the family, Maggot," he muttered, patting me on the back and opening the door for me, "Now earn your place," he added under his breath.

"I will," I said, knowing it was about a thousand times more complicated than what he'd just laid out for me, but willing to make a point to try, as impossible as it sounded.

"Hey, babe," Jean smiled standing and pressing a kiss to the corner of Rivaille's mouth. "Petra's been saying she's really tired. I think we should get her home, that way you can talk to me about whatever you need to tell me."

"That sounds like a good idea. Looks like we're gonna head out," Rivaille smiled politely, flipping a switch that rested within all of them that told them when it was alright to threaten, and when a situation required a more poised execution. "Take care, you two."