Scars

BOOK II: Naughty Little Nurse

BOOK II

Julia woke up hungover without any clothes on. She closed her eyes in hopes she could fall back asleep, but her brain itched and she had to squint to get anything to look clear.

She sat up quickly, threw off her blankets and cringed at the cold, quickly pulling on her Tee. She hadn't played the heating bill for awhile now. The guy in the bed next to her didn't seem to mind, he was built like a bear. He smelled like one too. His name was Seth and she met him in a dive bar on 6th before fucking him in exchange for an enchanted gerbil. La vie Boheme.

The phone was ringing. She didn't answer because she knew nobody was going to be on the other end. It was a warning, so she shoved Seth out the door without letting him say goodbye to the fucking gerbil.

Sick to her stomach and homesick Julia started cooking while watching the shitty Fillory and Further remake they were pushing on Netflix. Jane played a naughty schoolgirl a little too well and ember and umber were played by actual fucking goats, but she watched it because it reminded her of Quentin. Somewhere along the line she became a little too bitter. She wasn't proud of what she did after Quentin left.

"Hey baby." Someone whispered seductively in her ear. The phone finally stopped ringing.

"Marina." Julia said matter of factly, still staring at her soup. Marina dipped her finger in and took a taste, her clothes still smoking from the spell to get her here.

"Oh act a little pleased. Smile."

Julia did as Marina cupped her chin. Her hands were bitingly cold, but Julia still leaned into it. She closed her eyes and the tinny voices from her phone almost lulled her to sleep.

"Somethin like you shouldn't belong here you know. Someone pulled you away from what you were supposed to be." Marina said. It didn't make much sense at all.

"Am I supposed to be disappointed?"

"No, your supposed to be angry. Then spite takes you from the person you're meant to be to the person you have to be."

"To be happy or to survive?"

"I wouldn't think too hard on it." Marina said leaning in for a kiss, Julia let her.

The two kissed into the couch for awhile. It made Julia horny enough to consider sex but not enough to overide the rest of her. The rest of her being the overwhelming urge to do nothing at all.

Back in the early days of the charade Julia wound up in rehab, big whoop. There was a lot of shitty food, hooch that tasted like it was fermented in a musky pussy, and therapy she didn't need. Okay she might have needed some, but not for what they thought. They said she didn't have the ability to enjoy the things she should be enjoying. They were wrong, because to them she was meant to enjoy gradschool, and luncheons, and that fucking fiance. She knew what she'd enjoy, she just couldn't get it. Magic.

Julia realized she was crying while they were kissing. Oops.

"Do you need to stop?" Marina said pushing the hair out of her face.

Julia didn't respond so Marina being weirdly femnist and --viahment Misanthropist-- stopped and served up the burnt soup instead. She did a reverse entropy spell that felt excessive to get it warm again and sat next to Julia on the couch while bullying her to eat. She could still hear the voices from her phone, Martin was in the flying forest, alone. She never understood why that scene existed until now.

"I got the stuff you asked for J. I can guess what it is, but I want you to tell me."

"Of course you know what it is. You taught it to me."

"For emergencies. I don't want to put you in rehab for real this time. That shits basically phamactical grade speed."

"Well I met you in rehab. We fucked in rehab. Maybe it will be like our honeymoon."

"I'm not proud of how we got together okay. You know I could get fired for it."

"Oh, the naughty nurse could get in trouble, I hate for you to get a spanking."

"Shut up!" Marina said to loud. The apartment quivered against her, the spoons loudly clinkinging against the bowls. "You can do spells, I want to give you spells but I never should have given you that one."

The spell in question wasn't all that bad on its own. Marina was a nurse, at least for the time being. She was also a witch, a powerful witch with a sketchy history. She could sense Julia's magic, and was also desperate enough to catch feelings. She gave her a spell that was like a ventriloquist trick. It made you a puppet. You had an inkling of a thought and the spell compelled you to do it. Marina gave it to her when she stayed in bed for 22 hours straight and got a kidney infection. She was right, it was addicting.

"J what happens when you're under the influence of it and you think you want to die."

"That won't happen. I have magic now."

"And magic doesn't fix things."

The speakers and that stupid TV show were the loudest thing in the room. Jane was screaming. The watcher woman was laughing. It had always been Julia's pet theory that they were one and the same. She hadn't told Quentin, because it felt like something over him, because she was positive she was right. It was a realization he could never come to on his own. He wasn't self aware enough to realize when he was his own problem. Julia, oh Julia. Shit she couldn't even see his problems. No all she saw was his problems, and she thought they went away. No he was getting abused by some random asshole who ruined her best friend for her.

"I want to learn a new spell M."

"That's great. I found some new stuff in that Safehouse in Kentucky--"

"No, I want to kill someone."

"You don't, you don't really." Marina said exhausted. Julia was insistent.

"I'm gonna kill him. That fucking bastard went free when I had to pick up my best friends body on a park bench! Why did he have to leave me the fucking note!"

"Jules, I know it too well okay."

"No you shut up right now. I spent years as a vapid bitch with one real friend who I let, who I let.."

Marina slapped her. She cringed after she did it. "You didn't let that prick do anything. You weren't there."

"I should have been!"

"Wishing you could take away someone's pain? The pain is still there. Pain doesn't go away just because you want to pawn it off on yourself. I know that too well." Marina said coldly. Julia set herself in her arms and cried, occasionally kissing up her neck. Her cheek still stung as she ruffled it against Marina's jacket.

Julia hadn't quite changed her mind, and Marina indeed knew what taking someones pain felt like too well. There was a spell for it.