Scars

Sabotage

"So did you.."

"No Bambi, and one to snoop."

"Please El, you've been crushing on him since he got here, I can't take another 2 months of that without a lot more wine." She laughed as she poured the pair another glass.

"I don't want to rush him or anything cause he got kinda, weird."

"Like Eliot's in denial he's actual straight weird?"

"No, he wanted to. You could really tell he could."

"So why not?"

"Well we were kissing, kinda shaky at first but he was into it. Like really into it, it was kinda adorable."

"Never would have pegged Coldwater as the type."

"But then he freaked the fuck out when I tried taking his shirt off. Not like kicking and screaming but he went back to his scared awkward self and practically pushed me off of him."

"Eliot, you gotta let that one go, just go back to fucking Dylan."

"Come on Bambi..You can't help but admit hes, different. I think there's more to it."

"Sure, I'll take your word for it," her face slippery, dripping with her sarcasm. "I'll make sure the Eliot Heartbreak Kit is fully stocked in the meantime."

***

Eliot finally tracked him down. While he was one busting at the seams with secrets, Quentin Coldwater was quite predictable. He found him up against a tree, re-reading the Secret Sea. Eliot cursed quietly that he'd grown so attached he'd actually memorized the names of the book titles at this point. He went and sat in front of him, his frustrating stature folding on on itself like a 3rd graders shitty origami project.

"Hey Q."

"Eliot!" He looked up surprised, genuine.

"The Secret Sea again?"

"Yeah, I probably should be studying." He said quickly folding it up to retrieve something else from his bag.

"No." Eliot said, placing his hands on Quentins. "You love them, whatever gets you through the day you know?"

"I guess."

"Speaking of that, when you didn't want me to see you without your shirt. Have you been?.. Fuck, have you been hurting yourself again?"

"Why?"

The fact he didn't answer made Eliot's hands start to quiver.

"Cause I care about you, and there's not a lot of people I care about."

"That's a bad idea Eliot."

"Can you not be so fucking stubborn." He chuckled, but he was dead serious. Quentin just shrugged his shoulders, he was too.

"Eliot I'm..damaged. Maybe it's just easier to say I changed my mind. Maybe we just stop, whatever you wanted to be."

Eliot agreed politely. He then stumbled to the cottage and into Margo's bed, let himself get angry while she fed him Sees candy. The caramel kind. Angry because as he would admit through clenched teeth he was starting to fall for Quentin, and angry that for once he wasn't the one who ruined it. Sick as it was to say, sabotage was the only absolute power he had ever relied on.