Scars

Makeover

Quentin didn't end up asking Margo for help picking out his outfit, instead he called Julia.

She picked up the phone too quickly, it barely had time to ring. It was almost like she expected it.

"Q?"

"Yeah Jules it's me. Are you free Saturday?"

"Yeah whenever. I'll always make time for us remember!"

It wasn't happy.

"No same. Sorry I've been kinda a dick about that, just a dick in general. Look do you think you could help me with something, you've been wanting to do it for years."

For a split second, the Julia he knew had returned.

"Please tell me I'm taking you to get clothes that actually fit you."

"Jesus why does everyone think my style is so bad? I literally don't have one."

"That's the problem Q. Come to my place at 4 okay?"

"Yeah Jules, I'll see you soon."

And so the next day Quentin stepped through a portal and cringed at the cold, grimy that stabbed at his lungs. He hadn't even left the brakebills wards before he started to long for them once more. But this was for Julia.

He wasn't sure what he expected,to walk into the same apartment he had been in so many times, to a Julia he knew like the back of his hand.

This was that apartment, and that Julia, but they weren't the same. It was messy, but there were piles of things that looked to organized, out of place. Like as on some manic streak she desperately tried to cobble her life her life into something salvageable before it swallowed her whole again.

"Q, you came."

"Of course I came."

"Sorry just, i've been going a little crazy."

"Like, are you still okay crazy?"

"Something like that I think."

It was odd how she had adopted it, a certain arrogance about life. Most call it a subtle death wish. Quentin was well versed, he wouldn't be surprised if she was just copying what she put up with for years with him.

Desperate for an out, "So Q, let's head out yeah?"

"Yeah."

The sulked along the avenues until they came to a chain store that was lit like the commercial. Quentin walked side by side with Julia. It was odd, because it was usually James's place.

"Where's James?"

"He's..We didn't work out. I had more important things, so did he. But enough about me. Your new outfit, is it for a date?"

"Yeah actually. With that guy Eliot."

"Wow it's been awhile then. I thought you too were already hooking up?"

Quentin winced. "Not really."

"Well I won't judge. I just hope you find someone eventually."

She sauntered up to a clothing rack and tossed something at him. She operated recklessly now. And she kept going, Quentin holding onto the hoards of clothing like a pack mule.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this Q. Even James going to get in on it at one point."

"It can't be that bad."

"Quentin you admit to stealing your father's clothes, it is."

Julia shoved him into a changing room and sat impatiently outside the door, Quentin let out a sigh of relief at being alone. This wasn't the place, but he felt an overwhelming urge to tell her everything.

He stepped out in the least offensive outfit. It was a black button down, a bit to tight for ihs taste but it would do, and black skinny jeans.

"Of course you went with the all black option."

"Hey it was an option."

"Well you look good Q, Im sure Eliot will be impressed."

It all felt rehearsed, exaggerated.

"Hey Jules, can we get this and go home? I kinda just want to talk now if it's okay. I just wanted a reason to see you."

"Yeah, sure uh. Me too."

Quentin barley made it through her door.

"I dated someone in college."

It was definitely not what Julia expected.

"I'm sorry but what?"

"Yeah for like 9 months, that's where I lived when I moved out of my Dads."

"How is this the first I'm hearing of it?"

"Cause I was ashamed."

"Q I don't give a shit if it was a guy, even if we cared we all saw that one coming."

"Not that, maybe that. He wasn't a good one."

So quietly Julia listened as Quentin spun his story, which he couldn't tell if it got harder or easier to tell each time he told it. With Eliot it was bare boned and raw, Alice and Margo skimmed over but plumped out with random details. But with Julia, in this place, he remembered all of it.

"And there was this time, where I was really scared. I left the dishes in the sink, it was just overnight. I didn't even think he'd come home. He saw it and he threw all my Fillory books into the dishwater. They were ruined. The next week I did nothing but stare at the walls. I didn't even go to class. They were just gone. Then he made me have sex again and gave me a present after. He did that sometimes. The World in Walls, first fucking edition, and I kissed him. It was just like that."

Then he got to a story she knew, because she'd been there.

"That's why you took the pills?"

"I was always messed up Julia, since we were like 14. Just everything that happened, it got to much. It just seemed like my only out."

She hugged him close.

"Just know I'll always be your way out Quetin. You always have a home to come back to. These past few months, you won't believe what I've seen. Beautiful, wonderful things. Miracles. But nothings like us Q."

Quentin immediately knew what she was talking about, and some of the stuff scattered about the apartment gave him an idea. She was a hedge. Eliot had told him enough, Kady was obvious. Julia had failed the exam, had her memories erased, but she still had magic, and he let her have it. He didn't speak a word, remind her that there was so much more than this, or that she shouldn't have it as all. Someone like Julia was always bound to find her way to it somehow.

"I'll always come back to you Jules, just keep looking for your miracles."

"Me too Q, and I really fucking want you to find someone that makes you happy, and safe."

"Yeah, me too."