Peter Parker one-shots

Sacrifice

"He's here, Barton, I know it." There was a pause. "Stark, get your metal arse over here right now."

'Oh great. Now Iron man was gonna join the party.' "Wassup homies?" And there he was. The Ironman himself. In all his stupid glory. "You called?" That was probably directed at Romanoff.

"He's escaped again."

Tony sighed. "Of course he has; he always escapes. Let's just go." Alright, this was his only chance to get away. Peter waited a minute or two before slowly opening the lid of the dumpster.

"Hiding in a garbage bin? That's low, even for you, Spiderman."

Peter slowly turned around to find Ironman standing right behind him.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

'Okay, be cool, just stay calm. cAlM dOwN. WHY AM I NOT CALMING DOWN?! Well, at least the others left, that was something slightly useful.'

"Tincan."

"It's the ugly spandex for me."

"Well, it's the unwavering arrogance for me."

Tony sighed. "You still think I'm arrogant?"

"No. More... supercilious."

"That's a big word, Spidey. Are you sure you know what it means?"

"Condescending," Peter smirked.

"Very good." Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Patronizing," Peter continued.

"It doesn't quite mean that."

Peter grinned behind his mask. "No, these are other things you are." 

Tony huffed indignantly. So the guy was a smart-mouth, huh? "Alright, Spidey. Let's cut to the chase." Peter tilted his head to the side, feigning confusion. "Take off your mask, reveal your identity and then we can both part ways without any bloodshed."

Peter scoffed. "Should've tried that before your buddy shot me with one of his shock-arrows. The stupid thing burnt my suit. Also, fact of the day: it is extremely hard to find new spandex nowadays." Suddenly, his Spidey-sense started tingling. 

Something was wrong. He needed to stall for time. "Did you know that 'racecar' spelt backwards is 'racecar'? Also, North Korea and Cuba are the only places in the world where you can't buy Coca-cola and the hottest Chilli Pepper in the world can kill you?! And-"

"You're stalling." Tony watched the hero tense up, one eyebrow raised as he studied the stiff Spider. He had heard of Spider-man's sixth sense. Was something about to happen?

"Am I? I just assumed that I was helping you expand your knowledge?"

Tony tapped his foot on the ground repeatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yes, you are."

"So I am helping you. I'll continue then. Fact: Bees sometimes sting other Bees. And fact: Space smells like seared steak. And fact, Buzz Aldrin was the very first man to pee on the moon, and fact-"

Tony let out a loud cry of frustration. This idiot was going to kill him. "Don't test me, Spider-man."

Before Peter could respond, a loud bang shot through the air, making him jump in fright. "Shiitake Mushrooms!"

"TONY!" Captain America- Peter recognised- yelled through the comms.

"The hell was that?" Tony spat out.

"A new Crime Syndicate," the muffled voice spoke through the small speaker. "Bring any reinforcements you can."

"How big is the group?"