Redemption |complete| (SasuSaku)

Say it

Truth was that she was making things brighter. Every smile, every laugh, every word she said was a source of light that illuminated his heart. Hearing Ino talk about what an honour all of this was, he knew that he wanted to be part of it. As soon as she had sent this note to him, he knew that he would make sure to be back on time to celebrate it with her.

She kept surprising him with her gestures. Last night when she had hugged him in front of the fireworks was a precious moment that will stay with him forever. She had created memories that kept him awake at night. She gave him hope but he had to find a way to let go. He knew inside of himself that giving her what she wanted was selfish simply because he wasn't what she deserved. At least she would have these precious memories that she could cherish until she replaced them with someone else.

"Sasuke, are you still here?"

Sasuke looked at the door.

"Yes."

"Can I come in?" Did he want her to come in? Yes he did. Did he think that it was a good idea for her to come in? He wasn't sure of that.

He didn't reply and she took that as an invitation to come in. He simply looked at her.

"Good you're awake. Look I...I just wanted to say thank you for..."

"Stop."

"What?"

"Stop, Sakura."

"Why?"

"Don't thank me for last night. I don't even know why I did it."

"I know why." she walked closer to the bed. "And you know it too." her green eyes stared at him gently. He felt overwhelmed by his own emotions.

"I don't know know what you are talking about."

"Why are you doing this again?"

"Doing what?"

"Pushing me away like that. I managed to get through to you and you're blocking me out again."

"I am not doing that."

"Yes you are and it hurts me. Can we talk and this time you open up and tell me what is going on in your mind so I can understand and maybe not feel hurt?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to admit if you feel something for me or not." he stayed quiet. He couldn't bring himself to lie to her but he also couldn't tell her the truth. "Why is it so hard? I know about how you feel, so just say it."

"How will it make a difference?"

"It will make one to me. If you do love me then I understand why you keep pushing me away."

"Sakura..."

"Say it!"

"You have to let me go."

"No. Tell me the truth, I deserve to know the truth. I put up with you for long enough. I've given you your space, I gave you time, I offered you my unconditional love so you can grow and become the person you wanted to become but all you do is throw it right back at me. It's unfair, I don't deserve it."

"You don't but you don't deserve someone like me either."

"Are we back to that? I thought I made that clear already. You have no rights to make that choice for me." her voice broke. "You have no rights. You know why?" she screamed. "You want to know why you don't have the right to make that choice for me? Because truth is... I am more hurt by the thought of being with someone else than by what you're making me go through. Stop giving me hope like that and make up your damn mind. But don't include me in your decision." his heart hurt after hearing what she was saying. What did she mean by not including her in his choice?

"Sakura, don't cry."

"Shut up. I gave you the opportunity to talk but you didn't take it. It's too late now." she was pointing her finger at him wiping her tears with her other hand. He didn't know if she was hurt or angry. "You know what? In love, you have to be selfish. I know that you are good enough for me. I know that I deserve someone like you. If you think that I am good enough for you then it's all it matters. And don't you dare say that I am too good for you, don't you dare say it because I will get mad at you. If you could see yourself like I see you, you wouldn't say it. You are the most caring person I know, you are funny, sweet, vulnerable, shy and protective. Sasuke any women would be lucky to get to know who you are and you can't even see it. You can't even see how amazing you are but I can. I see it."

The answer he had prepared got shattered before he could even say it. He felt the lump in his throat warning him of possible tears coming out but he swallowed it and stayed quiet. He had nothing to say to that... nothing other than an I love you that couldn't get out of his mouth. He loved her. He understood it now, he was now conscious of how strong he felt about her.

"And you're gonna stay quiet after what I said? You don't get to do this." she turned her back on him and walked to the door. "I'm done with this."

Before he knew it, he found himself out of the bed. His arm wrapped around her shoulder and he held her close to him.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what."

"It seems like I keep hurting you even when I don't want to."

"It's not you. It's your actions... or more your lack of actions."

"Hn. I don't want to loose anyone like I lost my brother."

"You should see it by now, you won't loose me. If after all that you put me through I am still here then you should guess that I won't let go."

"But you can die."

"Well," she laughed quietly in his arm. "Thanks for having faith in me. You're right I could die tomorrow but so can you and if this is the case then I want to be able to think of you and all of our memories. I don't want to think about all the things we could've done together."

"But you would be hurt."

"Of course but I would be hurt anyway. That's what happens when you allow yourself to open up to people. It is a risk but trust me, not taking this risk is more painful than taking it. Do you think Naruto would be able to know the feeling of having a family if he was like you? No, he would be sad."

"I'm not sad."

"But you're not happy either."

"I can't do all of that in one day."

"And I never asked you to. Look," her hand moved to his and held it. He could feel her chest moving up and down. "I am not asking you to get out of your way for me. I only ask you to tell me how you feel about me. If you do, I won't expect anything from you. I just want to know for myself but nothing will change between us."

"I..." his lips pressed together. He couldn't say it. Time passed and the two stayed silent. Sasuke was fighting against a wave of emotions that he couldn't keep under control. Sakura seemed calm in his arm. "I care about you." It sounded like a whisper but Sakura's ear was so close to his face that he knew she had heard him.

He felt ashamed for saying it so he walked back to his bed and sat down on it without a word for her. He heard her footsteps walking towards him and she kneeled down in front of it. Her hand pushed his chin up.

"Why do feel so ashamed by it?" he tried to move his head but she forced him to look at her again. "Thank you for saying it."

"I need to be alone."

"I understand. You're heading back on mission?" he nodded at her. "I'll see you again then. Take care of yourself Sasuke and be careful with the pills I gave you. Don't take too many in one day."

She stood up and walked to the door. "Oh and... if you dare to go back to the Land of Birds without me, I will tie you up in Konoha and make you listen to Nori talk for two days... or Kotaka. Safe journey!"

She closed the door behind her and left him alone with his emotions and thoughts again.