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Chapter thirteen

Having to fall asleep still fighting with Billie, was by far one of the worst feelings in the world.

Sadly, it was definitely one I had grown accustomed to. Despite our many strengths as a couple, communication had never been one of them. And not for lack of trying, but it normally takes us both a few days to be able to open up about what's bothering us.

That obviously isn't a great thing when your trying to make a relationship work, but when you live with each other it's an obstacle that's easily overcome.

But now with us so far away from each other... it's become a bigger problem than I had expected it to be.

But it felt different this time. There was no pettiness tied to it, despite the way the argument started, no stubborn feelings making sure I wasn't the one to break the silence.

This felt like the final straw, and I could feel white hot panic begin to spread across my chest if I thought about it for too long.

I was up late, tossing and turning all night, desperate to think of a way to fix everything between us. Dread settled in the pit of my stomach as I fought for a solution.

I just new that a phone call wouldn't be enough.

I almost felt crazy, like I was making something up in my head, but in my gut I knew I was right.

Something was incredibly wrong.

The only thing that I could think of to try and fix everything, seemed completely unrealistic, but I couldn't shake it from my head.

Waking up the next morning, I was still exhausted but my mind had never been clearer. There was only one thought on my mind, and after having it circling my thoughts all night, I knew immediately that it was the right thing to do.

Jumping out of bed, I begin to randomly through my belongings into a bag, trying and failing miserably to keep quiet.

"Whatsgoingon?" My roommate, Phoebe, mumbles almost incoherently, her eyes still closed as she remains half asleep.

"I have to go see my girlfriend."

"Billie, you mean?" She asks, not moving from her position on the bed.

I freeze. "What?"

"Please," she scoffs, starting to wake up properly, "you're acting like I don't have any access to the internet."

"Oh." Is all I can say in response, completely taken by surprise, "then why did you pretend not to know?"

She shrugs, "it wasn't my business."

After that we both fall silent, and I assume she's fallen back to sleep before I hear her speak just as I'm about to leave.

"Go get your girl," Phoebe grins, finally pulling herself into a sitting position, "and don't forget to tell me how to goes," she adds more firmly, to which I go, "Will do."

Rushing out the door, it suddenly occurs to me that this decision I've just made, puts my future at this college in jeopardy. Still, I felt no sadness at the thought of never returning. I felt no connection to the place I was supposed to call home, which further convinced me that I was making the right decision.

I would miss Phoebe as my roommate, but as my friend, I know I'll see her again soon.

Pushing the thought of college aside, I quickly fish out my phone as I leave the building, pulling up Maggie's number and praying for an answer.

Three tries later and still no answer, I quickly give up, and decide to leave a voicemail instead.

Having Maggie on the phone would have been a big help, but I already knew where they were staying, and with my flight booked, I prayed it would be enough.

Rushing through the airport, I pay little to no attention to the voice on the intercom, announcing the arrival of a plane I had no interest in. People rushing in the opposite direction to their plane did little to deter me on my way. Weaving easily through the crowds, I paid little mind to those around me with my destination in mind.

To me, every step was bringing to closer to the love of my life, and I was not about to slow down for anything.

Waiting in line was torture, but when I finally reached my gate and had time to slow down, I realized that this was so much worse. At least before my panic and hurry was a distraction, not all I can do is sit and let my worries consume me.

My foot taps restlessly again the linoleum flooring, as I stare desperately at the staff milling around, begging one of them to tell me I could now board.

I was so lost in my own head, that I almost missed the sound of my name being called out from a distance.

"Erin?"

My head snaps up, immediately recognising the voice, and my heart is sent into a gallop.

"Billie." I sob, all reason escaping me as I abandon my bags on the floor and rush into her arms.

"What are you doing here?" I demand, once we've finally broken apart. My hands clutch at her oversized clothes, in disbelief that she was actually here in front of me.

"I can't let you be the one doing all the chasing." Billie grins, tears still streaming down her cheeks, as I'm reminded of the first time I changed my mind last second before getting on a plane back home.

"I though I lost you." I whisper, the world turning blurry.

She shakes her head frantically, "I keep screwing up, Erin," Billie cries, brushing away my own tears that won't seem to stop falling, "but I promise to be better. For you."

Kissing me fiercely, she pulls me against her, and for the first time in months I feel like I can breathe again.

I hadn't realized that her absense felt a hole in me, until she was back in my arms and I felt whole again.

I felt so long wishing I could belong somewhere, and that longing almost pushed me down a path I never should've been on in the first place.

I didn't take the time to stop and think about what I had, so convinced that something was missing.

But I was wrong.

Because standing here in her arms I've never been so sure, that as long as I as with Billie,
I was home.

A/N: the end!