What Binds the Heart

Chapter Twenty-Six

Alex

It broke my heart seeing Sebastian cry. I didn't know what to say about his family. It really was heart-breaking, knowing what he'd been through and how much it'd affected him. I never would have guessed he had all that tramua in his past but, then again, I doubted anyone would have guessed I also had too many skeletons in my own closet.

Eventually, Sebastian stopped crying and went to go shower. While he did that, I cleaned up our dinner dishes. Buying some food and relocating the mice was the least I could do to repay him for letting me stay. I just wished I knew how to make more than eggs and bacon, but he seemed to enjoy it.

The bathroom door opened and Sebastian walked out, looking a better than he had when he went in there. His eyes were a bit red, but at least he wasn't crying anymore.

"I'm sorry," he said, walking over to where I sat on the edge of his bed. "I didn't mean to break down on you."

I patted the bed next to me. "You don't have to apologize," I said while he sat down. "We all have things in our past that hurt when we let them out."

He gave me a small smile, leaning into my side. "You're sweet, but I doubt anyone could have a worse story than mine. Because it does get worse. I went to live with my grandparents after everything that happened. When I told them I wanted to buy the shelter, they practically kicked me out of their house if I was going to waste my money."

"I'm sorry," I said softly, placing a gentle kiss on his temple. He blushed a little when I did that, which is one of the reasons I kept doing it. I had never been one to kiss temples, but seeing the adorable face he made each time made it so worth it.

He didn't say anything else and I started thinking about my own issues from my past. It wouldn't be right for Sebastian to display all of him when I couldn't tell him my darkest secret.

"I don't want to compare or anything," I started, "but my life hasn't exactly been easy either."

Sebastian shifted slightly in my arms to look up at me. "How so?"

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "Well you already know what just happened with my dad. But I had issues with my mom pretty much since I was born." I hesitated, not sure how to explain what she did. But Sebastian didn't say anything, just waited for me to find the right words, which I appreciated. "She never wanted a son. My older sister, Holly, was very clearly her favorite kid. Holly actually told me once, a few years ago, that Mom wanted to abort me when she found out my gender, but it was too late, I think, and my dad convinced her not to." I took a deep breath. "She pretended I was a girl for a long time. My dad never knew, or realized. Not until my kindergarten teacher called both my parents in to discuss my "gender disphoria" issues. Once he got involved and tried stopping her from turning me into a girl, she got... violent with me, at times."

"Violent?" Sebastian repeated, speaking just barely over a whisper. "What do you mean?"

His brown eyes stared at me with such compassion from behind his glasses that sat just slightly crooked on his nose. When I looked at him, my breath caught in my throat. It was in that moment that I realized I was falling in love with Sebastian, way harder than I ever expected to fall this soon.

"Um..." I cleared my throat, trying to find my train of thought again. "I had a lot of injuries as a kid. Broken bones, dislocated shoulders, the whole ordeal. They were all because of my mom, but she made me lie to everyone about it. To my teachers, to my dad, even my sister had no clue. Not until my dad pulled his head out of his work for long enough to realize something else was going on. They divorced when I was eleven and I never saw her again."

Sebastian rested his head on my shoulder, but didn't say anything. Neither of us did. I didn't need him to talk. Just sitting in silence together was perfect.

It was good to open up, even though I didn't tell him everything. I chose to leave out the bits with my sister. How she sided with Mom at times. How she turned her back on us after Mom left. How I only ever see her at Christmas but, even then, it had still been a couple years since she bothered showing up to celebrate. How she moved down to LA to try to become an actress, but I had a feeling the only jobs she got were porn videos.

Eventually, we slipped under the covers. It was still early, but it seemed like we were both exhausted from sharing our deepest secrets with each other. We laid there in the relative darkness and I listened to the sound of Sebastian's soft breathing, glad I wasn't also hearing the sound of the mice running around.

It wasn't too long before Sebastian moved his hand to my hip, letting his fingers trail small circles on my skin, just above the edge of my boxers.

I kept my eyes closed, loving the feel of him initiating something for once. "If you keep that up," I said quietly, "I'm going to lose my self-control pretty quick."

"Maybe that's the point."

I opened my eyes to see his face inches away from mine. Without his glasses, his eyes looked so much bigger. I could just stare into them for days and never get bored.

Before I could think of a response, he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. I pulled him closer to me, needing to feel his whole body against mine. I moved my own hand towards his shorts, teasing the edge of it.

"Can I?" I asked breathlessly.

He nodded and I put my hand all the way in, running my fingers along his hard length. His forehead dropped onto my chest as he let out a soft moan. When I fully grabbed him, he let out a gasp. His breathing got shallower, coming out in harsh puffs as I moved my hand until he climaxed.

I pulled my hand out, slowly licking my fingers clean. He leaned away from me, just enough to watch me, wearing a small smile.

"So hot," I whispered.

I then pulled him closer to me again, which is how we both ended up falling asleep.