The Sky is Everywhere

Chapter Twelve

"You seem weirdly happy today," Sonny remarks at breakfast.

Maybe I should rein it in a bit, but I can't seem to help it. I've never felt so bright, like I've swallowed the sun.

"It just feels like a good day, that's all," I say.

"What's so good about it?"

I can't blame my friends' scepticism. Nothing ever changes in this place; every day is the same, so they can't understand why today feels so special to me. I feel a pang of regret that I can't tell them the truth, but it's too dangerous – for Roan as much as me. I won't risk him.

So I just shrug and don't answer.

The morning flies past, and I rush through lunch, eager to hurry down to the fence to see Roan, but first I have to smuggle some food up to Boots. I didn't manage to get him anything at breakfast, so the poor cat hasn't been fed yet. Much as I'm dying to see Roan, I won't neglect my cat.

I rush upstairs and feed him from my hand while he purrs in my lap, his small paws kneading my legs, and when he's finished I plant a kiss on his nose. In return, he gives me a little lick.

"Hopefully I'll see you tonight," I tell him.

I don't think that I'll have to stay in the infirmary overnight, but it is a possibility.

I'm heading out again, my heart singing, when I hear a soft sob, coming from the end of the corridor.

Coming from the shower-room.

Tentatively, I approach and peek inside.

Cole is sitting in the corner, knees pulled up under her chin, her face blotched with tears. She doesn't see me at first, so I softly say her name, unsure what else to do.

Her head flies up, and her eyes harden.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard you crying," I say.

She scoffs. "I wasn't crying."

"Okay, but you clearly were."

Cole glares at me, but there's no weight behind it. "Go away, you ugly freak."

I surprise myself by laughing.

Usually her words pierce me like knives, but today I can't feel them. It's like I'm wearing armour, and nothing she says can penetrate that.

It's not the physical strength that the CC values so much, but I've still never felt so strong.

"I'm not ugly," I say.

Cole sneers. "Yeah, you are."

I smile back at her, and I can tell it just makes her angrier. "I actually think I'm quite pretty, and I honestly don't give a damn if anyone agrees or not."

She just stares at me, and I know in that moment she's lost any power she ever had over me.

There's sunlight in my veins and steel in my bones and the bird in my heart is fierce, an eagle, and no one is ever going to make me feel bad about myself again.

"I came to see if you were alright, but I've just realised that I don't care. Have fun crying by yourself," I say, then I turn on my heel and leave.

Cole doesn't say a single word after me.