Life After Marriage Book 3

Alternative Plans Part 2

I wouldn’t have Amb. I wouldn’t Sata and A3. I wouldn’t have gotten my education. And I wouldn’t have been the successful dentist that I was. And while I missed my brother more than anything in this whole world and would give anything to get him back, I understood the power in his death.

But what was the purpose behind the death of an innocent child. A child not even allowed to take a breath. Or a walk. I’m trying hard to understand it, but there’s no possible reason I could fathom.

Is it to teach me and Amb a lesson? Is it because I almost hit Amb? Is it because she was stressed? Was it because of her age?

Either way, regardless of my lack of understanding I was going to get up and go to church as me and my family did every Sunday. And I was making Amb go too. I refused to allow her and myself give up on God after everything he did for us.

“Amb.” I knocked on the door then opened it. The room was a complete mess. Uneaten food and Kleenex everywhere. She was lying in complete darkness and it is was 7am.

“Me and the kids getting ready for church.” I stood at the door.

She didn’t responsg.

“Amb get up. You not finna miss church.”

“Me and God ain’t got nothing to talk about.” She shifted underneath the covers.

“I’ve heard you disrespect God all week. In my house we not doing that. Yeah the shit hard, but God’s been too good to us Amb and you know it.”

“Really? Then why would he take my baby?”

“ I honestly don’t have the answer to that but we have to trust that there is a reason.”

“I don’t want to serve a God whose got reasons for killing children.”

She was pissing me off.

“Mommy I need you to do my hair.” Sata came to the door.

“Have God do it, since he knows and can do everything.” She snapped.

Sata looked at me sad.

“Sata go wait in the kitchen for a minute.”

She went away.

I stepped in, closed the door then cut on the light. I went over to the bed and ripped the covers off her body.

“Get the fuck up.” I pulled her arm.

She snatched it back, covering her eyes and crying.

“It’s all my fault August. I wished it and it happened.”

I sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her into my chest.

“It’s nobody’s fault babe. It just wasn’t meant to be.” I kissed her forehead.

“I’m worthless August. I can’t even carry a child  for you anymore.”

“Stop saying that. You don’t know that. Yeah the doctor said that, but God could say different. And if you can’t, you gave me two beautiful children already. And I’m good with that. And I know you hurting, but don’t give up on God. Sata and A3 needs to see what faith looks like. We gotta be the examples.”

She wiped her eyes and sat up.

“I’mma go get ready.” She hugged me, then went in the bathroom.

-------

“I want to talk to you today about Alternative Plans. “ Pastor Brooks said to the crowded church. “How many of us know if you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans?” He chuckled.

The congregation said Amen.

“You tell God, God I want this job. You’ve prayed for it. You’ve fasted for it. You believe you got all the qualifications. And guess what God says. Unh-Unh my child I got alternative plans.”

“Alright!” Somebody in the congregation said.

“Alright!” A3 mocked and laughed.

I looked at him with a straight face.

“Sorry.” He looked down, playing with his fingers.

“You tell God, God I’m ready to buy me a house now. I’ve saw it. I saved up for it. And guess what God says. Not right now my child, I got alternative plans.”

“Praise him!” Somebody in the congregation said.

“We can plan our lives ultimately down to the T. But at any moment we have to understand that God can usurp our plan for his own. And he doesn’t have to explain to us why. We just have to trust that ultimately God’s plan is the best plan for us. How many of us know that?”

People in the congregation waved their hands in agreement.

I looked over at Amb who was leaned on the side of the church bench showing no expression. I could tell she was listening but I didn’t know what she was feeling.

“The Bible tells us of a young boy named Joseph who had a mighty plan. He had dreams outside of this world of ruling. He told his brothers and his brothers jealous of such dreams sold him into slavery. That’s pretty brutal isn’t it? But see that was God’s alternative plan. We have to accept that sometimes God’s plan for us are not going to wrapped with a pretty bow. There going to be dipped in blood.”

“Hallelujah!” A woman stood up, raising her hands crying.

“But even if they are, we got to be like Joseph. Joseph didn’t complain. His faith didn’t waver, he just trusted God and continued to do the right thing.

But even still being faithful and doing the right thing,  he got thrown in jail because somebody lied on him. Now you would say if he did the right thing, why would he get thrown in jail? But we know it’s because God had a what…?”

“Alternative Plan.” The congregation shouted back including A3.

Sata laughed at him.

“It wasn’t until about ten years later, that God did in fact allow Joseph to rule. And the same brothers that sold him, bowed at his feet. Joseph wasn’t angry. He didn’t cuss them out.

 Listen to what he said in Genesis 50:20 he says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”

And that’s how we got to be church. We have to believe deep in our spirits that no matter what we go through. No matter how much harm or pain we endure. God will use it all for our good. His alternative plans are not to harm us, but to  ultimately bless us and quite possibly like Joseph, somebody else. Amen?”

“Amen!” The congregation said including A3, who clapped.

Everybody stood up to sing the congregational song and Amb left out crying.  I was going to go after her, but an older woman behind me kindly said, “Just give her and God their moment.” She smiled.

I knew exactly what she meant.  God used Pastor Brooks to answer my prayer and I knew that it touched Amb too. I didn’t know what the alternative plans God had in stored for us.

But whatever they were,  me and my family embrace them. This time like Joseph, with the uptmost faith.