Good Omens: The Pharaoh's Son (Aziraphale x Crowley)

Chapter Five: Down to Business

Crawley veered to the side as Aziraphale rolled out of the way. He hadn't prayed to the Almighty since he'd Fallen, but he heavily considered it. He spun, eyeing the second angel—a tall, dark-haired being with a fake smile and a fake desire to show him any mercy. The new angel raised a hand, readying another burst of power. "Wait, Gabriel," Aziraphale cried. "Don't kill him." He stepped between Crawley and the archangel. Crawley hissed at them. He knew he had to keep up his facade. Even if the angel did smite him there, then at least Aziraphale wouldn't be branded a traitor. He wanted to bang his head on the sand. Crawley couldn't understand his yearning to protect the fluttering ball of light. It didn't make any sense. It wasn't the first time he realized that desire had been sneaking into the edges of his mind. Only now, it seemed more like a landslide than a simple underlying notion. "Aziraphale," Gabriel raised his eyebrow. "You know as well as I this fiend will only get in our way. Don't tell me you've gone soft, especially for a demon." Crawley writhed, darting to the sides as though searching for an opening to attack. He tried to weigh his options. Burrowing underground again was always possible, though he knew the likelihood of getting a blast of holy light to the face before he could submerge was rather high. "I, uh," Aziraphale glanced back at the demon once more before straightening his posture. "Of course, not. I merely wished to point out that-that he could be useful to us before we, um, you know..." He made a gesture of another bolt of power smacking the ground. Gabriel hesitated. "Useful, how?""I just mean information. I could extract information from him before...getting rid of him." Aziraphale darted a glance back at Crawley. "You hear that, you wily serpent. I will, eh, I will torture you before getting rid of you, you fiend. Mark my words." He worried at his lip before glancing back at the angel. "Gabriel, let me handle this. I know the demon's weakness. I can make him talk."Gabriel seemed to think it over. He tilted his head, then smiled with his teeth. Crawley shivered. The angel lowered his hand. "So, what? You want to handle that evil thing by yourself?""Yes," Aziraphale all but shouted. "I can do it, please.""Ah," Gabriel nodded his head and flicked his eyes between the angel and demon. "I get it now."Crawley hissed, still not attacking and glad his hellish form couldn't give away just how worried he felt. "You do?" Aziraphale squeaked."Yes, I see. You," he pointed a finger at Aziraphale's chest, "want a chance to prove yourself. I understand, I really do. You've been down here for so long without any real moments to shine. I mean, you need something to make up for all your blunders here on Earth."Crawley snarled for real, snaking forward. Maybe he could at least tear that bastard's arm off before he got a face full of lightning.Aziraphale jumped between them. He held his hands up. "Get back, you-you fiend. You are mine...to deal with." He glanced back a Gabriel. "Go, I can handle this."Gabriel hesitated but placed a hand on Aziraphale shoulder and squeezed. "I suppose you would have some insight on this," he scrunched his features, "disgusting snake. Very well, Aziraphale. Deal with him, and I'm sure there is a commendation for you in your future. And Aziraphale, it would be most disappointing if you let him get back to Thebes. I know you understand." Gabriel disappeared with a pop, leaving Aziraphale and Crawley standing in the desert. Aziraphale stood with his back to the massive demon and seemed to be trembling. Crawley glanced around, making sure the smug bastard wasn't watching them from nearby. The angel let out a shuttering sigh. "Well, go on then. Best...best not to dawdle."Crawley blinked, then shifted back to his human form. The sun was too hot for his scales anyway. He rolled his shoulders and adjusted his linen wrap at his hips. "What?"Aziraphale shoved his fists to his sides. "I said get on with it.""Get on with what?" Crawley stepped closer. His steps sunk into the hot sand with each step, and he tried not to topple over as he walked. "Look, I really have no idea what you're on about. Didn't you just say you were gonna, I don't know, torture me or something.""Yes, but...well." He fidgeted with the sleeve of his robes. "I can't," he whispered, glancing away again."You what?" Crawley stepped closer, tilting his head. "I can't do it, alright.""Can't, or won't?"Aziraphale turned away again. Crawley could see the rigid way he held his shoulders. He knew the angel was nervous, or anxious, or maybe even worried about...about Falling. Crawley hissed out a long sigh. He was already damned anyway, might as well go in for it all. "Look," Crawley said, squinting away from the sunlight. "Just...just do what you need. No point in both of us ending up discorporated, or dead, I guess. Like I said before, it's been a good run. Been kinda fun, actually." He smirked and let out one more weighted breath. It really had been fun, parts of it, at least. He wasn't just saying that. Well, maybe not the pretend god part, but the other parts weren't too bad. Crawley had enjoyed their few meetings, even if it hadn't been that many. He realized he had hoped for more of those in the future, but well..."What in the devil are you talking about?" Aziraphale turned to face him. "Why would I torture you?""You, uh," Crawley stared at him. "You told Gabriel that's what you would do. I just thought—"Aziraphale huffed. "You and I both know that I can't. I mean, really. The idea is simply preposterous and out of the question.""Look, angel. I don't understand what's going on. Start from the top, alright. You told Gabriel you knew my weakness or something and that you'd get information from me, right?"Aziraphale stepped forward. "Obviously, you know I can't actually do that. So, just get on with your part then. The least you could do is make it quick."Crawley shook his head, still lost. "What does that mean?""Dear boy, really. You're going to make me say it out loud. You enjoy trying my patience, don't you?""Well, yes, but that's beside the point."Aziraphale adjusted his robes and straightened his shoulders. "Just, go on then. Discorporate me or...whatever you were going to do."Crawley stood with his mouth open. He floundered for words, any of them. "Why in heaven would I discorporate you? What in the bloody hell makes you think I'm going to?"It was Aziraphale's turn to pause and stare at him. "So," he paused again, blinking. "You're saying you aren't going to attack me or something?""Why would I?""Because we're hereditary enemies. I knew our paths would bring us here sooner or later, and now we have orders to follow. I thought that—"Crawley felt his insides squirm. "So, you're telling me, we are both standing here waiting for the other to make the first move, and not only that but finish the job?"Aziraphale licked his lips. "Yes, I suppose I am.""But," Crawley continued, "You can't do it.""Wasn't that the plan? Wasn't that why you, you know, you were always so nice to me? It seemed fairly obvious, even before. You worked on me for years, whittling me down to...to make sure that when it came time, I couldn't do it. And besides, you heard Gabriel, I'm getting soft. So, I suppose," he hesitated and sucked in a deep breath. "I suppose congratulations are in order. You've won." Aziraphale closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable. "If you wouldn't mind, please make it quick."