I grab both her hands and bend down so we're at eye level, "I told you I wouldn't keep big things from you, and what he has to say is big. My father wants me back, and I'm not clear on why or what he has planned to get me to come home. I need you to come with me, so I know that it doesn't involve you getting caught in the crossfire." I admit, watching her face pale.
"He knows about me?" She says softly, as she begins to stand from the rail.
"I'm going, to be honest, yes, it's a possibility. I'm not sure what he knows. My friend will fill us in when we arrive."
"Who is this friend?" She asked, pulling her hands from my hold, then running them through her hair.
"He's one of my best friends. Out of everyone in New Orleans, he would be the only one I'd trust. I'm not trusting him enough to leave you here alone." I pull her body towards me, kissing the top of her head. The coconut shampoo fragrance fills my nose as I inhale. "I won't let anything happen to you," I promise.
"Are you going back?" She asks, wrapping her arms around me.
"I'd never go back to work under him," I admit. "I left because he was ruining everything our family spent decades building. I won't watch him have my brothers killed because he'd rather feed his habits." I pull my lip up in disgust.
She looks up and smiles. "While I was gone this week, I kept thinking about what kind of man you were in New Orleans. That's exactly how I saw things in my mind." She laughs.
I smiled, "what did you see?" I ask, curiously.
"I didn't see what most movies paint the mob as. I didn't see what the internet painted your father as. I saw a man struggling to bring good into a world of bad."
I sigh, "Ray, I need you to know, I was no saint. I'm still no saint. I've got a lot of blood on my hands. I'm no hero. I don't want you to get the wrong idea of the life I've lived." I watch as she tilts her head to the side. "I was trained day and night to be smart and strong enough to lead the family one day. In the last few years, Caine's loyalty to his own family has changed because of greed, drugs, and whores. I gave him a choice, step down or I'm out. I don't want to lead dead men." I enlighten, pulling her to the chair sitting next to the sliding glass.
I sit and bring her down to lay across my lap, "I won't lie, I miss the life. I do, it's all I know. For years, I worked to try to re-build the family's name, but in a matter of months, it all started to crumble. All because of that bastard's greed." I fight back the memory of my mother's face when I said goodbye. I told her this exact reason when she sobbed asking me why. If I knew it was the last time I'd see her face, I would have said a lot more. Hell, I would have taken her with me.
"So, you can leave a life like that?" She asks as she studies my face.
"No," I admit. "I knew he wouldn't stop me. I have a lot on him, and he doesn't want to step down from the role." I explain. "Once you take that oath, no matter the rank, you're in until death." I watch her body stiffen as she starts to rub her arms like she was cold.
"So, if you refuse to go home, what will happen?" She breathes. I notice her voice has a slight shake in it.
"Don't you worry about all that baby. Let's just get down to that bar and find out what's going on before we start to worry." I console as I rub my hands over her arms.
"What about the others? Are we going to tell them?" She asks.
"Not until I know more. We just tell them for now that we are going to grab a drink and talk. They should be fine baby." I smile. "Are you ok?" I ask her. I can't read her body language like I usually can. I'm not sure if she's still digesting or if she's in shock. I hadn't expected her to be this calm if I'm being honest. Yet again, she's done the exact opposite of what I predicted from her.
She nods her head, "I may sound crazy, but I trust you. If you say everything is ok for now, I believe you." Her words send a warm tight feeling to my chest. This is why I can't stop falling in love with her.
It's as if she was made just for me. I don't know if I'm happy or mad about that. Keeping her in my life would be selfish of me. I refuse to go back home and that puts a target on my back, as well as hers and her family.
Should I leave after the meeting with Nick and take the focus off her? Make it seem she wasn't important to me? Goddamn it, the REAL question is, will I be able to leave her?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
