Teen Mental Health

Dear Mom

I understand that you think you know what it is like being a teenager. And you do know what it was like in your perspective, with your viewpoints, friends, etc. And growing up is never easy, no matter what decade it is. But please, stop trying to act like you know exactly what it is like being a teenager now, here in 2020. You mastered the 70s, 80s, and 90s as a teen. Where cell phones weren't a thing, social media wasn't a thing, and you were free to go out with your friends whenever you felt like it, because nobody was worried about the serial killer or sex offender down the street because there was less crime and even less publicity for it. You were lonely? Call your friend on the household landline and meet up and go out and have fun where your own parents aren't there. Yes there was bullying, and it was pretty damn bad don't get me wrong. But it usually stayed at school or when you are out with friends. Now, you can never escape it. Try to be creative? You open your phone to hate comments pouring in from people you don't even know, but they still effect you. Your phone goes off? It's Stacy from algebra making fun of you on open web where anyone can see, join in, and remember what was said so when you get back to school, people are talking about that one comment behind your back the whole day. You get put if school and check your phone again? There are more people on that same thread still talking about you. And that is a single thread. On a daily there are at least 3 or 4 of those threads for most people, plus the hate comments coming in. Back when you were in school? People were bullied in private where the whole world didn't see. From one of those comment threads there are people you don't even know talking about you behind your back now because Stacy was bored and insecure, wanting to put somebody down. And today that somebody was you, but it could be anyone any day from anyone in the school. The whole world is open, so who's it gonna be? We also have the same problems with teachers you guys had. We leave the house to go to school and we are made fun of by both students and teachers, we get home where it should be safe, but instead you are on your phones, too worried about what Karen from Facebook group is saying about the latest beauty products then to realise your daughter, the one you prayed so hard for, is in her room crying because even though she is home, she is still getting made fun of through social media apps. We can reach out to our friends through the apps, but a lot of times they are so busy that they don't have time to talk, or it is quick conversations that aren't personal, just about anime or something, then they are on their way with their own lives and you are still in your room crying. But we had a conversation so we aren't totally alone. Because while we have all the problems that come from these devices, it is our only social connection because we don't go out with friends anymore because you guys are so worried about the serial killer from down the street. You have so many good texting conversations on these devices too. It's a double edged sword really. Then we do one minor thing wrong that has nothing to do with our phones, but that is what you take away anyway. Our phones. Our only support from friends. Now we are totally alone. Because we aren't talking to you, you took that away because we were five minutes late for doing the dishes because we are trying to talk our friend through a bad spot of depression because their grandmother is dying. And because so many parents are doing that, there is an emotional wall between parent and teen so they don't go to their parents for stuff. They go to other teens for support, giving the other teen even more responsibilities then they already had because you have one (sometimes multiple) friends coming to you for emotional support and you can't just let them suffer. So we talk them through it no matter how much it takes a toll on our own mental health because we have been there needing help too. But then because you realize that it hurts the other people you are trying to get help from, you don't go to anyone for your own mental health because it will just bring them down. So we sit there bottling everything up. And then you call us in there to do a bunch of stuff around the house or to get you a drink, but every time you call us in there it cuts us up even more because we really just can not think about moving from that spot because our mental health won't allow us. We are regrouping our thoughts from dealing with a depressed friend, a friend who is having a panic attack, and Stacy from algebra and her friends making fun of you too. We are so overwhelmed from that, and then you call us in there for the second time in 5 minutes to get you a drink. But you have no way of knowing that we are trying not to have a panic attack. But you have no way of knowing because we aren't going to talk to you about it. You will just belittle the problem a d act like it is fake because it is from the phone. Or you will take our only connection from the outside world. Either way we don't want that. Plus, now, we have the existence of 2020, which is hard enough for adults, but adding all of that to the other problems we already have to deal with PLUS dealing with our quickly changing emotions and just the hormones that come with being a teenager? Cut us some slack, mom. We are trying, honestly we are. It may not seem like it, but sometimes getting out of bed to check our phone is a feat of sheer will.