5:03 am May 15, 1880

20 3 6
                                    

MARK

I think it will not be considered stealing if I returned Cassidy's hold on me.

The horse in the stall beside us neighed in disagreement as I rested my arm gently on her waist. It fitted snugly against the curve of her like it belonged there.

We got here last night and as soon as we did, Cassidy made me lay against the hay. I can see her trembling, her voice shaking badly but even then I was only half awake and I can barely sit straight. I was unable to comfort her. There is a single gas lamp in here, its orange light dancing inside the stable. Everything smelled of horses, damp earth and hay. The warm scents tickled my nostrils yet comforted me. Cassidy opened various barrels, found some apples and water for the horses but we gorged on them anyway. After having some, I fell hard asleep. I barely even felt it when she injected me with more medicines.

Now as the first light of morning entered the stable, I can see her more clearly. Hell, I can even think clearly too, a stark contrast to how I behaved yesterday. So, maybe it reallywas the fever or the morphine talking yesterday.

But I spoke my truth. I do want to kiss her and I do watch Japanese porn. Not necessarily related.

Cassidy's fists held tightly on the shirt on my back, her head burrowed deep against my chest. Is she listening for my heartbeats or counting each one in her sleep? Her legs that are draped over mine kicked occasionally against the hay in the depth of her sleep. The first rays of the sun shone on her, making her look small and soft against me. So unlike the girl who carried me across that fucking death march. It made my heart ache that I was not able to do anything throughout that whole thing. I'm such a Benjie. All I could ever do was protect her and if I can't even do that, then what good am I?

I thought of the guys in my team, twice her size and wondered, with a gun to their heads, how many of them will stay behind to half carry me with no end in sight?

My one in a million girl.

Her hair puffed over her head, still a bit curly from her braid with bits of straw in between. A pretty dandelion. I brushed strands of the hastily cropped hair from her face. For the first time I noticed various scraps and cuts on her face. In her attempt to save me, she has forgotten about her own wounds.

I felt smooth skin against my feet. She must have removed both of our combat boots. I looked down and saw her feet, poking out from beneath mine in the hay. Probably seeking warmth unconsciously. I moved my feet away to look at them because as weird as it may seem, I've never seen Cassidy wear sandals and I'm curious.

The sight of the open blisters on her pale feet gave me a heart stop. They were all over her tiny toes, ankles, heels and even up to the sides of her feet. They were red against her milky white skin. Some of them so deep they are still oozing with fresh blood. Those have to be taken care of right now while she's still asleep. Once she wakes up, she'll be on battle mode again, with her mind going at a hundred miles an hour in all different directions.

Again, I may not be able to keep up so I have to steal a moment. Freeze time somehow. Let the magic linger in the air a little bit.

It felt like that in the library with her. Even if there's a really noisy group of assholes a table away from us, I can feel bits of stardust in the air. Which is funny, because she mentioned to me once that we are made of the same things as stars.

I pried her little fingers gently from the back of my shirt but she furrowed her brows. Burrowing her head deeper into my chest in defiance. I should be flattered. Really. It's just that my deodorant wore off a long time ago, sometime in Rome probably while killing a bear. "Sid," I coaxed gently, "You have to let me go."

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