Kidnapped

Chapter 8

***A/N heavy trigger warning. Self-harm. If you are easily triggered or depressed don't read. Also message me or how ever that ish works if you need anyone to talk to***

****MAYA'S POV****
Finally, Niall calmed down and fell asleep on the couch. I pulled a blanket over him and left a gentle kiss on his forehead.
I walked into the hallway, searching for the room that had all the girls clothing in it, since I was still wearing Michael's tank top.
I reached the door that I thought was it and pulled it open. I realized very quickly that this was not my room.
Calum was sitting on the bed. A large wooden box was open next to him. He had his back to me and seemed not to hear the door open.
I was about to leave when I noticed that Calum's shoulders were hunched and shaking, like he was crying.
I slipped into the room, padding softly over to where he sat. I looked in the box and inhaled sharply at what I saw.
Silver blades and razors were thrown haphazardly in it and among them, lighters and matches. Other items were obscured by the silver. The lid had tally marks etched into it.
I looked up and saw that Calum was looking at me with wide red eyes.
"Maya? What are you doing here?" he asked.
My eyes looked downward. His hand was clenched around a long razor blade. His arms were slashed open. There were letters and lines and shapes dug into his skin. I could faintly make out old scars and the letter 'M' was bleeding heavily.
"Calum," I whispered, eyes filling with tears.
I ran to his desk where a box of tissues sat. I quickly ran back; kneeling in front of him, I dabbed at his wrists, sopping up as much of the blood as I could.
I looked up and saw that he was watching me with empty eyes. No feeling, no shame. Those chocolate eyes showed no indication that his arms hurt. I saw my reflection in his eyes but they did not seem to see me.
"Calum," I whispered again, "why?"
"I'm so useless, Maya. So fucking useless."
I reached up and grabbed his chin. My had become damp with the tears that ran down his cheeks.
"No you're not," I told him firmly. He tried to look away but I held him steady.
"Look at me Calum."
His eyes looked down at his arms. He traced one of the open cuts with his finger.
"Look. At. Me." I repeated slowly.
His eyes moved up to look into mine.
"You are not useless," I said quietly, "not to me."
"Yes I am. I couldn't save her. I couldn't protect her. She died because of me."
"No she didn't. You did everything you could have. Please Calum, look at me."
His eyes closed.
"I've thought before. About how she would have felt. To die. About how much she must have hated us, hated me, as the harbingers of her death. And I wondered if maybe I should hate her, now that she's slowly killing me."
I sat down on the bed next to him. The box was right next to me. I stared down into it as he talked.
Under the blades there was a handgun, a length or rope, a bottle of pills, and several train schedules for the rest of the year.
"You have to let the past go, Calum."
"How can I, when closing me eyes brings her face forward, sleeping tempts me with her voice and smell, and my very own hands are stained with her blood."
"Her blood is not on your hands Calum, that mob boss is the one who killed her, not you."
"If she hadn't loved us, hadn't loved me..
"Then she'd probably be a sex slave at this point. Don't you get it Calum? Love saved her."
I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"I just miss her so much," he whispered.
"I know."
Calum turned towards me gently moving his hand so that it cupped my cheek.
"Thank you," he said, gazing into my eyes.
I smiled. Turning my head, I kissed the scars on his wrist.
He moved closer to me until, finally, his soft lips touched mine.

***A/N Calum baby no. God I hate myself for that one. Sorry. But.... good? Idk. Anyway, since some of my more innocent friends are on here, the next chapter is just going to be plotless smut. I would put it in the chapter but my friends want to be able to skip it so it'll have its own chapter. Thanks so much guys!!***