A Guide To Not Falling For The Bad Boy

12.

#12 Don't Change

My social media feed was filled with fake smiles and adventures. I mindlessly scrolled through liking a couple posts as I went down. It had been quite a boring Saturday with no word from Otto or Raine. 

For some reason I still felt like Raine has been more distanced since she found out about whatever Zander and I are. I didn't think it was a big deal since she pushed me off on him. Plus I don't even know what I feel. I keep asking myself is it the attention or is it love, but I keep coming up empty handed. I was positive that after the next outing with Zander I will be able to figure it out. 

A light knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. My dad poked his head in slightly before he swung open the door and maybe himself comfortable beside me on my bed. 

"Something is different about you." He said. He moved his hand up to his salt and pepper hair, as if he was trying to still figure it out. 

"Well I didn't change my hair if that helps." I remarked, putting my phone face down on my blanket. 

A laugh escaped his mouth making more wrinkles appear on the corner of his eyes. "I mean your personality. Have you met someone?" 

I bit my lip. "Yeah, but I don't know if this someone is for me." 

"I remember when your mother handed you over to me for the first time at the hospital." He began.

I smiled wondering where this was going. 

"Even though we did okay with your older sister. I was still worried about the milestones and challenges you would offer. From the time you could walk. You had this certain sass and confidence. Of course you got it from me." 

I rolled my eyes at the guy who was still scared of messing up his order at a restaurant. He would repeat it several times to himself before the waitress came back around to our table.

"But lately it has seemed like you have been questioning yourself. I saw your sister, Nora, change into something she wasn't for a guy. She ended up getting hurt. I don't want you to go through that too." He patted my leg. 

My head sank remembering my sister's boy failures.  But the one my dad referenced grew into a dangerous relationship. Nora was a very dumb girl, no offense, who was indeed boy crazy. I remembered sitting on the kitchen stool eating crackers and cheese as an afternoon snack. I awaited my sister's return for help with my math homework, my mom was no help with homework after I reached the fourth grade and even then my sister struggled to help with the eighth grade work. When my sister returned from her day at school, a big smile on her face showed her dimples. 

"What is there to be happy about?" My mom asked. 

"A boy." She replied. After that it was like my whole family was on edge all the time. From the first date when my dad told Nora's boyfriend that he didn't like him. And then the hours I cried myself to sleep because my sister didn't have time for me anymore. And then when Nora's smiles got replaced with frowns and bruises. 

It took my mom and my stretch to keep my dad from buying a guy and going to this boy's house many of times. Nora became angry. I was no longer allowed in her room. But most of those times the screams turned into cries. But she didn't realize those cries meant she needed help until several months later. When she finally broke up with him. Although her bruises didn't stop completely for a while afterward. 

She began to think that she wasn't good enough and she should start getting used to being alone. When she met a guy in college. It wasn't the man of her dreams but he became the only dream she cared for. 

"I know. I am being careful. I promise dad." 

He smiled looking me over before speaking. "I was actually supposed to come in here to tell you that Nora and Gareth are coming over next week." 

I smiled. It was always great to see my sister again. It is like having a best friend who can't get rid of you. Plus I always learn a lot when Gareth comes with her. "Seems kinda random huh?" I asked. 

"Why is that?" My dad asked, throwing his shoe up on his other leg.

"It isn't Christmas. Or summer. They are just going to take off their jobs for no reason." I clarified. 

My dad shrugged. "I have stopped questioning your sister a long time ago." 

My dad left the room leaving me even more confused about Zander. My dad hasn't even met him, but I don't think he likes Zander. And my dad is a great judge of character. A talent I wish I was better at. My dad could sniff a fake from a mile away, which was a bad thing for Nora and me growing up, who could never get away with the smallest fib.