Deep Down In My Heart (COMPLETED)

Chapter 35 - Pic of James (Police instinct)

            Did my Dina really cared for my brother so much? She loved him? My heart crushed in my chest on that thought.

            But somehow I managed to smile, saying: "Yea. I know what you've heard. But it wasn't him. He's at work now. He works until 5 pm. He switched shifts with a friend. It was that idiot Mark, pretending to be Daniel, even tho I don't know why.". She relaxed a little, and smiled.

            "Oh, okay.", she said simply. Then she tried to sit up, but got dizzy, so she laid back down.

            "Don't tell Daniel about what happened. He'd kill Mark. Not literally, but, you know. And don't tell him about what happened here, either. Please?", she asked hopefully.

            I started with a smile: "Well, Mark deserved to get killed, not literally of course, but I won't say anything. But I have to tell him about what happened here. You know we're agents and basically part of the police, he'd find out eventually anyway...".

            And finished seriously: "...and I'd be the one who'd get killed. You want me to get killed?". She jumped up, sitting straight.

            She screamed: "No! Of course not!".

            Hugging me tightly, she whispered: "I'd never want that, James.".

            She snuggled into my neck and continued with a whisper: "I love you so much.".

            I was dying to tell her the same thing, but instead I pretended I didn't hear that because she said it very quietly. She probably didn't want me to hear it anyway. I just hugged her tightly. When she let go of me, I didn't move my eyes off of her.

            I looked at her for a minute and then she asked: "What?".

            "Well, you said something in the basement, but I'm not sure I should ask about it.", I replied carefully.

            She nodded her head in 'go ahead' move, saying: "You can ask me anything.". She smiled.

            "Well, while you were... Uhm, drugged... And, uhm, half asleep... You, uhm... Asked not to hurt the baby. What baby, Dina?", I finally asked.

            "Oh... Did I? Oh well, James, please, don't tell anyone about it. Not even Daniel. I have to talk to him.", she said simply, raising her eyebrows towards me.

            Then she said loudly: "Geez, this list of secrets is just getting bigger and bigger!". I was shocked.

            "Really? It's for real? I'm going to be... Uhm, uncle?", I asked, not sure how I should feel.

            I really hoped it's mine and I'll be the father. That's why I said 'Uhm, uncle'. I was giving her the space to finish the sentence and correct me with 'No, you're going to be the father' part. But that was just my wishful thinking.

            She said: "Yea, it's real. I just found out today. Don't tell anyone. You're the only one who knows and...", she stopped talking because Zoya knocked on the door.

            She must have heard us talking. Dina told her to come in. Zoya tried to get in, but then I remembered I locked the doors. I went to unlock them and Zoya came inside, looking suspiciously at me, smiling. I went back to the bed and stood beside it. She hugged Dina.

            "What were the two of you doing locked in the room?", she said jokingly.

            "You're better not knowing.", Dina said teasingly, wiggling her eyebrows, smiling to me. I smiled back to her. Oh, if she only knew how much I wanted this to be true.

            Zoya looked at her, then at me and said: "Oh, yuck!". She wrinkled her nose a little.

            Then she asked happily, still looking at me: "Wait!! Are you two together again?!".

            I looked at her seriously, moving my head negatively. I said that we're not, hoping she won't blurt out about Daniel and that he knows everything. She understood immediately and her smile disappeared. Dina told her that we were just talking.

            Zoya said: "Oh ok. Sorry for interrupting. I'll go out so you can continue talking.". Dina smiled nodding her head confirming and Zoya turned to go out, but I stopped her and said that she can stay because I have to go.

            Dina said quickly: "No, James, wait. I...", but I stopped her from further talking. I really had to get out of there because I felt like I'm going to explode.

            "I have to go. We'll talk later or some other day.", I said.

            She just looked at me sadly and said: "Are you sure you can't stay just for a few more minutes?".

            "Some other time. I have to go.", I replied.

            I was really sad and I couldn't stay there anymore. Before I went away I said 'Happy birthday' to Zoya again, and 'Bye' to Dina. I kissed her on her forehead. As I walked out of Dina's room, a tear fell from my eye. She's going to have a baby, and it's not mine. It's Daniel's. 'Maybe I should take Jake's advice and ask my captain to send me away?', I thought to myself. I took a deep breath to calm myself as I walked out in the hallway. When I walked out of Dina's place, I leaned myself on the wall. I needed a moment to process the news I've just heard. I wasn't sure how will I handle this. Could I really be around Dina only as a friend? And uncle to her baby? I wasn't so sure about that.

            At this moment, I was really reconsidering Jake's idea of going away. Dina tried to stop me from leaving, but I really couldn't stay inside anymore. I went out of the building. It was cold outside. It was November. My mobile beeped. It was an SMS.

            It was from Dina: "James, please come back. We need to talk.".

            I looked at the message for a few moments. I really wanted to be more with her, but I just couldn't. I was really hurt.

            "I can't. I'm sorry.", I replied shortly, barely holding my tears.

            I had to go to give the report in the 'Brooklyn 94th Precinct' now, then visit Jenny and after that I had to go to work. Today I'm working night shift, from 10 pm to 10 am. And it's almost 4 pm. And Jenny is having a flu.