Throne of Glass

A dance with a stranger who might not be that strange [5]

"It'll be good for us and we need to start working on reaching Mary as well. It's a good idea Caroline. Its final." Raven added as they began to eat. Jessica couldn't argue with them when they were right, She thought that she could break things in her dreams and continued eating. They finished dinner and went to their rooms.

Jessica closed the door behind her, She laid in her bed and thought about what happened to Susan and what might have happened to Mary. She couldn't afford to lose everyone she loved, They were the ones that kept her sane.

Jessica tried to sleep, She counted sheep and tried to remember the boring stories in the library but nothing worked. She gave up. She woke up from her bed and went to the living room, The room where she had an outburst with raven in. She went to the couch and sat down over there, Hoping that a change of setting might remove the feeling of guilt from her.

Every time she closed her eyes she saw Susan and her smile and how much she wanted to achieve in her life. Jessica couldn't shake the thought that she was responsible for her death.

She looked at her right arm and pressed on the strip where she could send a message to Mary, It had saved a picture of Susan in it as well. Jessica immediately deleted the photo of Susan but it wouldn't go.

"What's wrong with you, you stupid strip." Jessica said as she kept on pressing the delete option of the hologram. " She's gone! It's over and she's dead so why won't you just delete the damn picture you strip!" Jessica exclaimed to herself as her nails dug into the place where the strip was located, She removed it.

The area where the strip was located in started bleeding and Jessica just leaned her head against the couch. "She's fucking dead and it's my fault. She's dead and it's my fault!" she exclaimed as she got even more angry, Her eyes had tears in them but she wasn't the one to sob or she had told herself that.

Jessica got up and stamped over the strip to break it but it didn't break, She had snapped. She took a painting that was Hung over the door and smashed it on to the strip, She saw the frame of it breaking and the glass over it shattered. She realized what she had done and immediately fell to the ground as she picked up the glass.

Sebastian had heard a sound and she followed it downstairs. He went to the living room where he saw Jessica picking up the glass. He had a look of shock on his face as he went up to her and reached to help her pick up the glass.

He saw the wound on her right arm and freaked out. "What happened to your arm? Jessica are you alright?" Sebastian asked Jessica as she stood up abruptly.

"No Sebastian I am not okay! She's dead because of me and I don't know how Mary is and she's dead because of me! She's dead because of me," Jessica exclaimed

"Jessica she's dead because of Eleanor, you could have done nothing to save her if Eleanor wanted her dead. Don't blame yourself for it. It's horrible that she's dead it really is, But it's not your fault. She wouldn't have wanted you to hurt yourself or blame yourself." Sebastian said to Jessica as he stood up as well.

"We'll find Mary, We'll make sure that you'll be safe we'll do everything we can to help you but only if you try to help yourself. Wait here we need a first aid kit for you," Sebastian added as he went towards Jessica.

"I have vampire blood, I'll be fine. I am sorry for the outburst." Jessica said to Sebastian with a annoyed face.

Jessica sat down on the couch as she put her hands over her face in frustration. She had to stop having outbursts but she did feel a bit calm after lashing out.

"Make it fade away. I don't want the guilt. I don't want any of it! can't you do something?" Jessica asked Sebastian as he sat down next to her.

"I can't make something go away, You need to get over it on your own terms. Believe in something if you can't believe in yourself." Sebastian told Jessica as he looked at Jessica. "It wasn't your fault, Remember that." Sebastian assured Jessica.