love letter || j.jk x reader

16 | So you know how I feel

Y/n turned around and realized her phone was on the bed, clearly visible.

Jungkook left her no time to admit she was lying. "Seems like you're ghosting me." Arms folded over his muscular chest–thankfully hidden under a hoodie–, Y/n had never seen him so angry before. "I'll leave you alone if that's what you want. Now that the tutoring sessions are over, you might want to keep your distance from me. I can understand." He did not though; the thought of it actually pained him. "But you should've been honest with me."

『 READER'S POINT OF VIEW 』

Panic was probably written all over my face as Jungkook blurted out stupidities. Why in the world would he believe that? I asked myself. Although he wanted me to think he didn't care, his presence told me otherwise.

Wattpad stories I've been reading since middle school taught me one thing: communication is the key. I won't let my pride nor my stubbornness spoil my relationship with Jungkook. It was obvious I didn't want to lose him, so I had to tell him clearly.

"Listen, it's a misunderstanding!" I paused, taking a few seconds to look behind me. I was almost done with the packing, so I had enough time to have a proper chat with him. "Just come in." I told him, and he entered without a word.

I noticed a frown when he saw my bags, but he didn't ask anything.

"I'm going home." I said, hoping he'd care. "Anyway, take a seat."

"I'd rather stand, thank you." There was no sympathy in his voice. I could tell he was hurt, and I hated myself because it was my fault.

I refrained from sighing and sat on the desk chair, moving it so I could face Jungkook. "I'm sorry for ignoring you; it was stupid and childish. Truth is; I panicked."

I was just getting started. The only solution was to be fully honest. So I took a deep breath, eyes glued to his impatient expression, and I told him how I really felt.

"Please don't freak out." I'm begging you. "Lately I've been thinking about us...a lot." He remained quiet, scanning my face. "I'm not saying I'm in love or anything; but I feel weird when I see you. Is it attraction or more? I don't even know, so I ignored you because it freaked me out."

I looked down at my feet, unable to hold his gaze much longer. It seemed like the room was burning in flames; causing me to feel hot, in desperate need of oxygen.

The heavy silence lasted for a minute—or more, I wasn't sure. To me, it felt like an eternity. My heart was beating fast. Then Jungkook eventually spoke, and it caused its rate to slow down.

"That's stupid."

Taken aback, I frowned. However, my lips were sealed. No words came out of it because I was disappointed. What did I expect anyway?

"We're friends, Y/n." he sighed, speaking in a gentle voice this time. "You can talk to me; I won't freak out. I won't say I'm not surprised, but I saw it coming."

Finally, I managed to look up and eye him. His dark orbs were carefully watching me, and I found myself enjoying the way he did.

"It sucks because I should've told you sooner, but I feel the same." I froze in shock, hardly processing what he had just said. "You're beautiful, funny, and smart. I like that about you. I also like the fact that you genuinely care about me, because I can tell you do. And the way you like to control things; your independence, it's attractive."

As I listened to his unexpected words, I could not help but smile. A small, shy smile of relief.

"But in some way, we're also similar," he continued, not even bothering to hide his emotions anymore. "These feelings... they just hit me out of nowhere. I tried to suppress them for my own sake, but it didn't work."

"So you know how I feel."

He nodded. "But I also know you like Hoseok." And just like that, realization hit me hard. Of course, he hadn't told me earlier; I was too busy bragging about my dates to notice the evolution of our feelings, both his and mine. "I won't ask you to choose between us; it's obvious you love him."

At that very moment, I should've been honest and mentioned the doubts I had about Hoseok. I was about to do it until my thoughts drifted to Hana.

Hana was my friend, like a sister. A few days ago, we had a conversation. She opened up and told me what happened with Jungkook.

"If you feel comfortable hanging with me, then I'll stay by your side. However, if these feelings you have are more of a burden to you, then I'll leave you alone."

Hana or Jungkook?

Hoseok or Jungkook?

Hana, Hoseok, Jungkook. Why did I have to choose? Couldn't I just be happy with all of them?

"I want us to stay friends."

He nodded. "I get it." A smile crept up his face, but I could tell it wasn't genuine. I was dying to hug him tight and comfort him. "At least I haven't fallen for you." He jokingly said, but the disappointment in his eyes betrayed his true emotions.

I saw it because I felt the same way, but I had no right to say it. As a good friend, I had decided to respect Hana's feelings.

"So you're leaving?" he asked, changing the subject.

The atmosphere was still awkward, but I answered anyway.

"I'm visiting my family." I naturally smiled. "What about you?"

He shrugged. "I'd rather stay."

No matter how much I wanted to ask more questions, I simply nodded. Both Jungkook and I were uncomfortable at the moment, so he decided to leave.

"I'll see you around then."

That was our last conversation.

✭☆

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