We sat on the curb a couple feet apart. He played around with his shoelace while I looked up at the window every few minutes to make sure my parents weren't watching.
"Tell me." I said softly.
"Tell you what."
"Everything."
So for the next two hours he really did tell me everything: how lost he was and how he was trying so hard to find himself again, how he didn't want to burden me because I had my shit together, how he didn't want me to reconsider being with him, how he felt like if he told me the truth, I would leave.
"I don't know," he said. "You needed stability. Like someone who knows what the fuck they're doin. But I had no clue. I went on tour and recorded songs at the studio but none of it felt real, and none of it made me feel anything. I only felt real emotions when I was with you and I wasn't tryna lose that."
"Z, I wouldn't have left if you told me. That shit doesn't scare me."
"But it scares me." He said.
"What about now?" I asked.
"What do you mean."
"Let me help you now."
He paused. "No."
I blinked. "What?"
"No." He said. "You know we're not like that anymore, Kia."
I laughed a little. "No love left, huh."
"That love went away when I saw you with your lil white boy." He laughed sadly.
"You know it wasn't like that." I tried to explain. "I needed something, after losing you."
"Yeah." He said. "Took you three days to move on but it took me three months Kiana. I can't go back to that again. I can't go back to you again."
That broke my heart. "Done for good?"
He sighed. "Done for good.
I swiped my tears away quickly before he could see, trying to cover my face with my hair.
"Ouch." I laughed a little.
YOU ARE READING
Broken | Zion Kuwonu
Fanfiction"I didn't say anything because I didn't want the girl I was in love with to see me falling apart. I didn't want her to see what a fuckin' mess I was 'cause I wasn't the same person she fell in love with. And if I told her that she'd leave me." - Z
