𝕭𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝕷𝖚𝖘𝖙 | Ꮩ X ᏴᎢᏚ

3. (M)

On that night, I received my first scar.

It only kept getting worst. They would beat me every other day a week, bring me back out to that courtyard that I soon learnt to be terrified of.

It was just scar after scar after scar after scar.

Irene tried her best to help with the wounds but overall she just had no power to stop anything.

They are to powerful.

When I turned 16 it started to get physical. They would beat me down on the concrete floor till I passed out and woke up in my cell room. I also noticed their group was just getting bigger and bigger as I didn't recognize a lot of faces.

They would cut my leg and arms.

Drip candle wax on my bare skin.

Break my bones.

Shot bullets at me.

And all I can remember is the pain and their sinister laughs and smiles. I cried at least everyday, hoping there would be some sort of hope.

They did it all.

That was until my 18 birthday, I realised they didn't do the worst yet.

A guard blindfolded me and brought me to an unfamiliar room. He stripped me down naked. He cuffed me to a bed post and tied me legs. I didn't bother squirming or trying to get out because I would just get badly beaten in the end.

He took off my blindfold and I saw 3 men in front of me looking and me with lustful and hungry eyes.

I knew right then and there that the worst was about to come to me. They all got rid of their clothes and moved closer to me. I was terrified for what I knew was gonna happen next.

Irene taught me all about sexual intercourse and by the looks on their faces I knew it wasn't going to be a nice vanilla like how Irene said sex should be like.

When they were done, I didn't actually experience sex. They just shoved their dicks down my throat. And put their dirty hands on me and into my butthole and penis. They kept some type of plug thing inside of me and said that I needed to be stretched out for 'Master'.

When I was thrown back into to the cell, I broke down into tears. Irene tried to comfort me and calm me down but nothing was getting to my mind.

"They touched me! They s-shoved their p-penises into my mouth! They hurt me! They t-touched me with their dirty hands." I wrapped my arms around my body and cured into a ball.

Irene wrapped her arms around me, shushing me, and singing sweet songs in my ear.

That night I cried myself to sleep.

It all still continued with the abuse, torture, and now rape. It would just never coming to an end. I grew up like this. 

I also developed a mind set. My normal mind just couldn't handle all the stress and trauma it was going through, that I then got the mind set of a kid.

Irene told me it was called a "Little" and that it was an adult who would regress and have the mindset and act like a child. Irene had seen TaeTae and has trained the both of us to get control of one another because even though TaeTae is a character just made in my mind. I truly believe that he is an actually person and I don't want him going through all the things I am. He's just a little kid.

I would be TaeTae in the cell with Irene most of the time and change back when I am taken by the guards. TaeTae was a way for me to relax and run away from reality.

On my 21st birthday I was brought in front of my brother.  He looked at me with an evil smirk. He had the characteristics of a devil. He was the devil himself. 

That night was just pain.

Yells

Screams

Cries

Was all you heard from outside the room.

The first time I had sexually intercourse. And with my brother. It was just pain, all pain.

A few weeks past after that day and he continued to use and abuse me till no anvil. It was just the same thing over and over again. I felt dead, I no longer felt alive.

I prayed everyday for Grammy to take me up to her but nothing ever happened.

There was this week were I was just feeling nothing but sick. I kept throwing up and feeling nauseas. I would sleep for most of the day which made me feel so bad for Irene because she always had to tell the guards that I was sick and not feeling well. 

I felt like shit.

To make it worst, Irene told me I was having the symptoms of being pregnant.

"Tae, I think you're pregnant."

"What! How is that possible?"

"I don't know but the way you're acting and the sicknesses you're having, are the same to a pregnant women."

"But I'm male. Males can't have babies. I am sure it is just a sickness."

"No Tae, you're pregnant. You match perfectly."

"But how?"

"I don't know but there was this one times were I heard that a male can get some women DNA from their mothers when being born and can sometimes produce like a women. You also kept getting blood coming out of your penis which Is the same to a period."

And she was right.

I was indeed pregnant. It made some sort of spark come to me and I decided that I wanted to keep this baby and keep them safe, no matter what.

Irene also taught TaeTae about the baby and she told me that he was over joyed and surprised. She told me he said "Wow! Really, there's baby here!" He pointed to his own tummy. He had the biggest and cutest eyes every.

But it wasn't long before the mafia found out.

Present.

Irene was taken. And was never brought back again.

I cried so much that whole entire day. When you never come back, you're more then certain dead. TaeTae didn't have a protector and I had to grow this baby on my own. My belly was popping a bit by now which made no sense as we a barely fed.

It was my 22nd birthday, I was being brought back to the master bedroom. They chained me against the bed frame.

"I know a secret of yours." Taemin said as he walk closer to me. He had a bat in his hand.

I

Was

Terrified.

"That you can be breed. Your little cell mate told me for freedom." I was shocked. So Irene didn't die but instead told my secret just for her own safety. How much more cruel can life be to me.

He looked me dead in the eyes. Fire and rage filled them and I knew the end of this was not going to be pretty.

"You're my pet so I can fuck you and beat you till there's no soul left in your body. And I'm not going to let you have a kid and not have you leave me hanging here." He swung his bat towards my stomach but I was quick and shielded the area with my legs.

He kept going at it, swinging until it landed on my stomach but I wasn't going to let the child in me die. I didn't care if I was in pain, this child deserved a life.

He got tired of swinging and by now my legs were covered in bruises. He yank my legs down and quickly hit down the bat right flat on my stomach.

The pain that went through my body and bones was absolutely excruciating.  Blood dripped down in between my thighs.

I lost it, I lost my child.

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Bye bye 🌸