Book Reviews

9. Finding Aster

Review done by Jasmine & Khala

Title: Finding Aster

Author: WillaWindrow

Review done by Jasmine

🔴 Writing Style

⭐️⭐️⭐️ = 0.60

🔴 Grammar and Punctuation

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ = 0.80

🔴 Dialogue

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ = 0.80

🔴 Cover

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ = 0.80

🔴 Summary

⭐️⭐⭐⭐ = 0.80

Jasmine's Total = 3.8

Writing style: your style has this lovely slow-burn pacing, it feels like it wants to almost take the readers hand and guide them into the story with a short overview of where the narrative is at. I presumed this is first-person narrative, but it is first person, with a take on multiply first-person narratives that spreading amongst these four teenagers. Midnight, Kitty, Fox, and Elion in that order.  Your story boarders originality and has a seemingly suspicious air to it, which I liked a lot. The MCs clearly have conflicting ideas on each other, but nonetheless, work together to solve the mystery that the police are keeping tightly sealed away. With a buzz of foul play in the air, I do very much like the consistent four-wall breaking, even though it may have riled up some readers and hinted at a red flag.

You say you're new to Wattpad, but you are showing quite the talent of showing and of telling, even though writers are often stressed upon when it comes to that writing device. There were moments in the story when I wanted to know exactly what was I with Aster acting weird and how her relationships with others truly were, seeing as her closest friends seemed at a loss.  Asher was/is the intended main focus of the story... and she is definitely the center of attention in each new chapter and in Midnight's minds of the townspeople.

A first there is a serious lack of action words and world-building. Always keep in mind that we the readers cannot, by default tell where a person is just because you do. Try minor descriptions of the places that they are in so that you are still making sure that the reader can picture the environment. While reading I was not sure where Midnight was or what was going on around her and what she herself was doing in terms of bodily actions. Action words are important because they paint a picture for the reader to imagine. Some proofreading could definitely be done for this story. There were word spelling errors or misused word errors. You can always address an adult, married, or unmarried by their respective titles [Mr.; Ms.; Mrs.; Sr.; Dr.; Ma'am; Prof/Professor etc.]. It threw me off a few times when you referred to the adults(married or otherwise) by their full names constantly. I think it takes away from the story's flow a little, and it's okay to mention to the readers a few things that we wouldn't know right off the bat that you need us to know.

The only other issues that I found were in the writing style is the spacing—just a handful of spacing errors whether they lack or have one too many spaces between words and or punctuation marks.

The next minor issue is the skipping of time. I use [~ ~ ~] to indicate that time has passed, or that someone else will be the main focus in the next scenes. I only ever use the space, without the above-mentioned method when there is a short time that passes and therefore wouldn't affect the flow of the story, now you take to fixing your story up quite well, so I do think that you will take the necessary time to look over everything and make sure that it is all up to par, otherwise, your story is good and keeps the reader coming back for more in this strange mystery that seems to grow a list of suspects and suspicions as we read on.

Grammar & Punctuation: there are little to no errors in the grammar aside from a few misused words. Punctuation in the story seems all good, it seems that you know very well what you are doing and you do not need further advice on this matter, so just keep on constantly editing and making sure that the book stays perfectly punctuational.

Dialogue: the dialogue flows naturally enough, with a caution to be careful of missing words, that make a sentence or two sound a little off. The pacing in the conversations is good and it doesn't take from the smooth flow of the unfolding here. Good job there.

Cover: the cover is beautiful, elegant, my only complaint is that the font is slightly too close together, and your name is not on the cover. The author's name should always be on the cover, whether it is your pen name or account name, it makes it easier for readers to know who you are, it is one sure way of making sure your loyal readers come back to you.

Summary: the summary leaves enough of a mystery to keep the reader interested and make them want to read your book. It also gives the readers just enough to want to look into the book and start reading. [Side note: the tags are very enticing.]

Jasmine overall notes: I will advise you to look into downloading the Grammarly program to your PC, laptop, and or mobile device just so that it can help smooth out all the minor errors and keep the story looking neat and lovely as possible. You are a very good writer and your story is very well written. There are little to no complaints from me, only my deep need to really know what happened to Aster and the people around her. Great work and good luck in the future.

Review done by Khala

🔴 Writing Style

⭐️⭐️⭐️= 0.6

🔴 Grammar and Punctuation

⭐️⭐️⭐️= 0.6

🔴 Dialogue

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ = 0.8

🔴 Cover

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️= 0.8

🔴 Summary

⭐️⭐⭐⭐= 0.8

Khala's Total = 3.6

Writing style: I feel like you should do some small descriptions since the readers can't really tell where there are. Make it so that the readers can picture it perfectly. Use action words. It helps readers know what's going on. Other than that there was a time when I didn't know what was happening to the character. You should proofread it or have an adult or fellow writer look at it.

Grammar & Punctuation: Nothing is wrong with grammar or punctuation. You capitalized on important words. You put commas in the right spot. Great job. There are people that don't really know when to put a comma and you for sure know what you are doing.

Dialogue: The conversations are good. Try and look at the sentences so they aren't missing and words so it doesn't seem a little off.

Cover: The cover is gorgeous. The best I have seen in a long time while reading a story. But a cover always needs the author's name on it. So I suggest you do that.

Summary: I like the summary. I like how you didn't put too much information but enough for the readers to want to read more. Wonderful job on that.

Khala's overall notes: I don't have much to say except the story was great and I like your writing style. You are a good writer and your books are wonderful. I enjoyed it and ready to read the rest.

Overall Rating 3.8/+3.6 = 7.4/10