strawberry milkshakes | wolfstar (OFFICIALLY DISCONTINUED)

The Confession

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure—"

"Pretty fucking sure," Remus said instantly. Lily merely nodded before going into the alleyway for a smoke. The second the door shut, Remus looked back to Sirius.

"Surprised!" He yelled again. "You think I'm surprised!"

Sirius let out a short breath. "Remus—"

"I mean, sure, I'm fucking surprised! I'm surprised that you fucking left me alone, no contact, not even a fucking text, and then you have the audacity to ask me if I'm surprised?"

"Rem—"

"No, yeah," he started, leaning on the counter more and glaring at Sirius, making all kinds of motions with his hands. "I'm surprised. But I was also fucking worried sick, Sirius! I thought you were fucking dead! Fuck, I-I've been going insane over the fact that you might be dead!"

"But I'm not," Sirius said softly.

"But you could have been!" Remus boomed. "I couldn't make sure you weren't dead, Sirius! I could only fucking wait and hope to God that you hadn't fucked off for good! I was worried sick, Sirius! I-I was going crazy wondering where you were, and I-I couldn't do anything, and—"

"I relapsed," Sirius said, cutting Remus off.

Remus stopped his hand motions and stared at Sirius.

"What?"

Sirius smiled shyly. "Two weeks ago. W-When I ran out of the hospital."

Remus' breath hitched. He started to breath heavily as he straightened himself, playing with his fingers.

"Fuck," he said softly.

"Yeah."

"No, fuck, Sirius," Remus said forcefully, but more into the air than at Sirius. "I-I could have stopped you. I-I watched you walk past me, I could have helped you—"

"Those words seem awfully familiar," Sirius said with a small smile. "Can I get a milkshake? Or two, would be better, actually—"

"No, Sirius," he said loudly. "You can't get a fucking milkshake or two! Not right now! And what the fuck do you mean by awfully familiar?"

"That's how I was talking on the way to the hospital," he said softly. "Telling you it was my fault. That I could have been there. I realize now I couldn't have known about his OD."

Remus scoffed. "So you're comparing you not being there for your mate who fucking OD'd on heroin to me saying I could have helped you not drink? Because I could have, Sirius—"

"There's no fucking difference!" Sirius said sternly, placing his hands on the counter violently.

"Of course there's a fucking difference, Sirius! James fucking overdosed on fucking heroin. Heroin, Sirius—"

Sirius leaned over the counter. "He can't fucking help it, Remus. It's a fucking addiction."

"I know that," Remus said sternly. "Do you know how many times I've tried to quit smoking?"