Our Little Secret (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Are You Happy?

The sky was cloudy, a cold breeze blowing through the trees as you stepped forward out of the tent, your eyes peeled in the dark night. You glanced down, eyeing the silver hilt in your fist and running your thumb over its surface. The feeling of the cold metal made your skin dance with power, and you gripped it tightly, walking forward into the clearing, light rain beginning to fall on your head. It trickled through your hair, dripping onto your shoulders and seeping into your clothes, weighing you down with the water. But you tread on, your mind made up. There was no turning back now.

You made your way down the thin path through the forest, the tall trees above you shielding you from some of the rainfall. But still, the cold of the night seeped into your bones, sending a shiver through your body as you stomped on, thin twigs crunching under your boots. Finally, the tent appeared before you, the rain bouncing off its surface and rolling down the sides. You felt nothing as you made your way towards it, pulling back the fabric over the door and slipping inside. Water dripped down your face and off the ends of your hair as you tip-toed across the floor, your eyes scanning through the dark room for any signs of life. But you saw none, a smirk creeping over your lips. This should be easy then, you thought to yourself, re-adjusting the hilt of the saber in your fist, anticipation burning in your chest. 

Your fingers traced down the side of the tapestry over her door, pulling back the fabric as you stepped inside, your eyes immediately falling on her sleeping body, her chest rising and falling calmly. She was laying sideways, her face towards you as you walked quietly towards her, the saber begging to be released as you hovered above her. Your shadow cast over her figure in silence, your heart slamming in your chest. You knew you had to do this. You had no choice. It was the only way to become who you were really meant to be. It was the only way you'd finally get what you wanted. 

With a deep breath, you grazed your finger over the button that would ignite it, pressing down as you watched the saber glow to life, crackling and vibrating in your grasp. The red blades emitted a heat that you could still feel from a few feet away as you held it out in front of you, their reflections glowing like lava in your eyes. You admired it for a moment, feeling the power course through your arm and through your whole body, seeping down to your core and settling in your bones--solidifying your decision. 

It had to be done. 

With a sharp inhale, you raised it above your head, watching her sleep below you. Your eyes bulged crazily as you paused above her, the saber sending vibrations through your arms, waiting to be put into action. Your breath hitched in your chest as for a moment--just a moment--you questioned whether this was the right thing to do. But just as quickly as the thought appeared, it was gone, leaving your memory as though it was never there. Finally, you let out a terrible, frenzied scream, driving the blade down and watching as it pierced through her chest just as her eyes flickered open, staring at you with a terrified, shocked gaze. You heaved in struggled, heaving breaths as you met her now dead, petrified eyes, her mouth hanging open in a scream that never got to leave her lips. You pulled the saber out of her with an animalistic growl, her body going completely limp under the seared sheets as you stumbled backwards, your head spinning. You killed the blades, dropping the hilt to the ground as you fell to your knees next to it, slapping your hands over your mouth as you let out another terrible, haunted scream, your voice vibrating against the tent's walls. 

You'd really done it. She was dead. Now there was nothing left to keep you from your destiny. From him. Now you could finally be happy. Really, truly happy...

You sat up abruptly in your cot, your body drenched in sweat as you gasped for breath, your hands digging into the mattress and grabbing balls of the sheets in your fists. Your head was spinning, and hot tears had already appeared in your eyes, streaming down your cheeks like waterfalls. You sobbed to yourself as you peered out into the dark infirmary, feeling confused and lost, your heart rate speeding. What the fuck was that?