PAPER HEARTS

34

Solitary, content, and brimming to the borders with vials of love. The closet is heavy with our heat and our breaths are mangled as we pull away reluctantly, shuffling to shelter ourselves from the flames. It takes me a full minute to wrench my head out of my state of nausea, and my throat is dry with nerves when the realization that we've just devastated everything I've worked on the building, dawns on me. 

Taehyung sits backing me as I hunch over. My hair is a mess, my clothes are a mess, and a shudder runs down my spine as his arms entangle themselves around my waist and he buries his head in the crook of my neck, breathing me in. I lower my head in resignation, allowing my eyelids to fall shut and I'm nervously biting my nails as he pulls me closer and persuades my skin with a long trail of his kisses.

This is wrong.

Taehyung and I.

It feels so wrong, just having him around me.

All my lies, all his efforts, and the explosion of feelings that we are forcing ourselves into understanding - it feels so pointless now, thinking about how it's only been a game of time, and we're mere pawns. Like magnets that can't stay within a radius without snapping into each others' province.

I flinch when his hand angles my jaw to the side, from behind, and my eyes bulge when my lips are ensnared in his again. Taehyung nips away, after a short peck and I swallow harshly.

"Taehyung -"

He interrupts me, leaning over to grab something out of his jacket and I take the silence as my queue to move away from him. My eyes find his hands as they fumble with a small, box and he refuses to meet my eyes as he holds it out for me to take.

A lump seals my lungs and I find it hard to find my breath again. Without another word, I take it with a tight chest and shaking fingers and I'm struggling to untie the satin ribbon that's knotted over its surface. I'm tormented with guilt when I take in the contents hidden underneath its lid; a platinum pendant locket that's encased in a velvet bed.

"Taehyung, I-I can't -"

"Please," he begs, slipping his fingers through mine, "I need you to accept this - a-as my last gift for you, okay?"

I'm staring at him in disbelief, but he chooses to ignore my gasp by taking it away from me and carefully opening its brackets apart and my eyes fall to its frames.

"It used to be my mother's," Taehyung explains softly, taking my upturned hand in his and placing the opened locket in the heart of my palm, "She wanted me to keep it safe for my one true love; s-she believed in soulmates and I want you to accept this from me."

I don't want to cry.

The jewelry has a tiny picture of a boy framed on one side, and my heart melts at the sight of his boisterous smile. I read the tiny words engraved on his side From My Heart with a lapsing breath. 

On the other side, it reads To Yours in roman fonts over a photo of me and I'm surprised when I see that it's from ages ago, casting the background is from the cafeteria Ryoko used to drag me to. I didn't think he had snapped a still of me from there. 

I'm at a loss for words. I don't think I'm breathing, either.

Taehyung inches closer, helping lock the strings of expensive metal around my neck and the pendant falls heavy against my chest. I stare at it, unable to comprehend anything. I take it in my hand, feeling the cool metal against my skin as it fluidly slinks into my grasp. 

"It's so beautiful, Taehyung," I whisper, pressing it to my lips.

But I don't think I can accept it. It's for someone he is going to love and cherish for a lifetime, and I'm not her.