Shattered

C H A P T E R - T H R E E

I stared up into the sun running my fingers through the grass. I was sprawled out in a clearing about three miles from the pack house. Three miles from Eli and his newly found love. I knew the mate bond was strong, but I wasn't aware that he could so easily forget I existed. After Liam whisked me away from the mate ceremony, I locked myself away in the closet of my room. Liam sat outside the door and listened to me sob. I thought about curling up in a ball on my bed, but it would only bring back painful memories. It seemed the only space in my room Eli hadn't destroyed was my closet. Liam hadn't tried to speak to me for which I was grateful. He sat on the opposite side of the door and hoped that his presence would comfort my broken soul and it did. Knowing I was alone at that moment eased the pain my wolf and I felt by just a bit.

As I listened to the nearby stream flow, the birds flying through the trees, and the whimpering of my wolf; all I could do is replay that night over and over in my head. I imagined Eli kissing away Elizabeth's pain as she released years' worth of pent up anger and sadness. I wasn't naïve. I knew Elizabeth was most likely hurt by the relationship Eli and I shared. I know he meant no harm to either of us, but that didn't stop the gaping hole I felt. I had spent the last decade or so with a man I had loved with every inch of my being and to see him love someone else was utterly devastating. Eli had been more than just my future mate. He had been my other half, my best friend. Yet, he was destined to be with someone else.

Maybe it hurt more, because it was Elizabeth. Maybe I'd be able to stomach him being mated to a different girl not the girl I felt I was competing with for my entire life. However, it made sense now. My wolf had unconsciously been trying to help me see the future. She'd been trying to push me in the other direction in order to save my heart. But here I was alone in the forest wondering if it would hurt less to rip my heart out of my chest.

It had been a few months since Eli claimed Elizabeth and I've heard whisperings from other pack members that they were doing better than ever. I had an inkling of an idea that the beginning held a little turmoil and the thought almost eased my pain a bit. I shouldn't find solace in their rocky relationship, but I just wanted one person to feel even a smidge of the pain that I felt. I felt the constant need to run to Eli and to rip everything he'd ever touched to shreds. I could have bleached my entire self and bedroom and still not felt clean. Maybe I'd feel better later, but for now I'd do just about anything to escape this aching nothingness even for just a second.

However, knowing that my birthday was just in a few short hours gave me a semblance of hope. I'd find my mate tomorrow. I'd forget Eli ever existed. I'd realize that the feelings I had for my ex-future paled in comparison to the feelings my mate brought. I was nervous to see whom I'd be fated with. Everyone knew my history with Eli. The whole situation sparked fear and doubt that my mate would want to be with me.

A sudden noise of a tree branch snapping broke me from my conflicted thoughts. I lazily flopped my head to the side allowing my hair to trickle down my cheek. For a second, I couldn't see who was there. My eyes were having to adjust after staring into the sun for too long. In that second, I imagined how welcomed a rouge's appearance would have been. It would have eased my pain. It would have made me forget Eli existed. The rouge likely would have done me a favor even if it meant a near death experience or death itself.

When my eyes adjusted the new darkness, I recognized Liam immediately. Of course, he'd be the only one who knew my secret spot. I stumbled upon this little clearing a few weeks ago and had constantly spent every waking moment of the day laying in the grass and destroying my eyesight as some sort of solace from my pain.

Liam's black hair swayed in the wind. He didn't have it up in his usual bun, so the natural waves seemed to shimmer in the light. His eyes were dark grey and held an intense emotion as he gazed at me. I couldn't tell if I saw pity, sadness, regret, or understanding. Honestly, knowing Liam, I saw all three. As Alpha he was a very large man with lean muscles from training. He towered over me as I stood and the view from the forest floor just made him seem even more large and intimidating. Seeing as it was just Liam, I tore my gaze from his figure and continued with the staring contest with the sun. So far, I'd say she was winning.

"Amelia, you shouldn't be out here." Liam chastised me as he sat next to my starfish figure. I knew he'd criticize my hideout. The reason I hadn't discovered it before was due to the fact that it was eerily close to our pack's boarders. Our land was large, but there was one side that ended abruptly due to cliffs and rouge territory. Alpha Magnus had given the dangerous land over to a group of rogues in hopes of deterring attacks. Rogues were rare nowadays anyways. Most wolves never left their pack in fear that they wouldn't find their mates. The few rogues who lived just a few minutes run from our location were old souls whose mates perished at an early age. They were peaceful in nature and only attacked when necessary. They didn't live as a pack or follow a leader. Instead each rogue's house was situated a few miles from another's house and they lived independently. At this moment, I envied those rogues.

"Hush, Liam. They've always been peaceful to us." I rolled my eyes at his dramatic behavior. Sure, not every rogue was harmless and I knew that. However, the few rogues Alpha Magnus had gifted the territory were very loving. They reminded me of grandparents.

"And what would you do if a new rogue happened to stumbled upon this little clearing?" Liam raised an eyebrow at me. We both knew I had little combat experience and training. I had spent most of required pack duties working at the hospital. I knew the basics of fighting, but likely would not survive against a vicious, rogue wolf.

"I'd be put out of this never-ending misery." I muttered under my breath. Part of me hoped he wouldn't catch my words and the other part pleaded for help. I knew he had heard me when his face softened and he reached out to pick a twig out of my hair. I immediately snatched the sharp little branch from his hand and started tracing lines on my thigh right under my shorts. I thought about what would happen if I pressed a little harder and drew blood, but decided against it.

"I talked to Dad and he agreed to hold a hunt tonight for you. He's even gathering all of the unmated males around your age to stand and wait for your return." Liam flashed me a quick, eye blinding smile. He had some seriously white teeth or maybe the effects of staring into the sun were starting to get to me.

"He didn't have to do that, Li. I'm not high ranking."

"I know, Lia, but if anyone deserves the happiness of finding their mate it's you. He needed to do a birthday hunt this month anyways. What's the issue with having it a week or two early?" I stopped my tracing when I noticed Liam's eyes staring at the branch. I could tell he wanted to grab the little piece of wood and snap it in two.

"Listen, Liam. I've been thinking. If anything goes wrong after the hunt, I want you to transfer me to another pack. Hell, exile me. Just please don't force me to stay here after being rejected by the only two people I'd ever love." I threw the stick into the stream and sat up. I turned my body towards Liam's and silently pleaded with my eyes. I could see his wolf's inner turmoil. Liam wanted us to stay, because I was his best friend. His wolf wanted me to stay, because abandoning the pack was an abomination.

No one transferred packs and very few became rogues. Since mates were within packs and rejections were extremely rare, wolves lived their entire lives in one spot. Leaving the pack, whether by exile or choice, was about as taboo as eating snakes for dinner. No one did it and those that did probably needed help.

"Amelia, you can't be serious." I knew part of Liam wanted to abide by my wishes. He didn't want to watch me suffer more than I am now. Admittedly, it was quite pathetic to be upset over someone who was not my mate. However, Eli was many things to me and now he was nothing. Now, I had nothing.

"Please, Liam, please. If anything – If anything goes wrong tonight." I trailed off to look out into the forest towards rogue territory. "If my mate rejects me, because of my feelings for Eli, please let me leave." I looked back at Liam and took his hand between mine. I pouted my bottom lip and let all the emotions I'd been feeling surface in my eyes.

"Okay." My wolf whimpered, but I felt relief. I could tell she knew this was the beginning of the end.  

A/N - Still unedited! Can anyone guess where we're headed next?