In the Mind

Chapter 16:

"They're not looking at you guys they're looking at me. I kinda flipped out when Noah told me he was gonna kill us and how he knew our plan." Elijah said, his eyes focused on the ground.

"Was he actually there?" Damion shakily asked. The tension in the air was so strong not even a saw could cut it.

"No, he said it in my head.....and it one scared the living shit out of me and two I was pissed off and scared that he's gonna kill us." Elijah said fearfully. His heart beat even faster and the back of his neck burned even more. Goosebumps formed on all over his body while cold chills ran down his back.

"What if we prepare to die." Natsuki said, causing Elijah and Damion to stop and look at her."

"What do you mean by 'prepare to die'?" Damion asked air quoting the 'prepare to die' part.

"I mean that if we prepare to die, we set our minds to know we're gonna die so we're not as scared. That, and adrenaline will kick in and we can't fight Noah and Kishiki off better than if we're shitting our pants." Natsuki explained. Damion and Elijah looked at each other.

"I don't know if I can come to grips with dying....I mean.....once you're dead, you're dead. That's it." Damion said with even more fear in his voice. He was obviously terrified.

"I can do it." Elijah said to Natsuki. Damion widened his eyes.

"How? How can you know that you're going to die and never come back. Never Elijah! This isn't a video game where you can restart and fix the mistakes that you made before!" Damion yelled.

"Well let's just say that some time before when the real Noah died I had some thoughts of committing suicide. I came to grips with it then, I can do it now." Elijah said truthfully.

He did have those thoughts before, but each time he really thought about it, he stopped himself. He knew that he had people out there who cared about him like his mom, and he knew that if he killed himself that she would become even more broken. He couldn't do that to her, so he never killed himself. But if she wasn't there, and it was him alone, he would've done it. The people around him he knew was the only thing that kept him alive, and was currently the same way. The pain had never gone away, just eased from his mind being focused on Noah and Kishiki. And each time the pain grew stronger, he'd think of Natsuki and Damion. He knew he was lucky to have them, and he knew that he had to do whatever it took to protect them so he wasn't left with nothing. So he didn't end up killing himself. If he had to set his mind in the same place as his suicidal self to protect Damion and Natsuki, he would do it.

"What! You were suicidal and didn't even tell me?" Natsuki yelled then slapped the back of his head like an angry mother.

"It wasn't important at the time and isn't currently. What is important is making sure you guys are alive and Noah and Kishiki are dead. So are we gonna prepare to die or what?" Elijah said to Natsuki who sighed. Damion shook in his place.

"I'm prepared. How about you Damion?" Natsuki said then looking at Damion.

"I...I.....I don't think I can do this." Damion replied shakily, walking backwards into a wall.

"We have to Damion. It's how we're gonna survive." Natsuki explained. Damion shook his head as his face grew paler than a dead person.

"I.....I'm fine with pretending like everything's gonna be alright...It's.....It's how I'm gonna stay sane." Damion stuttered.

"It's better than him flipping out during the fight and him getting hurt. Us staying safe is what matters." Elijah said to Natsuki. She sighed and looked at Damion who was breaking.

"Do what makes you feel comfortable enough to fight. We need to just get it over with so we can be safe and away from har-" Natsuki was telling Damion before a voice interrupted her.

"If you think this is gonna be a dinky ass fight," the three turned to look at Noah and all emotion except fear washed away.

"Then oh are you so wrong."