Uncover Me

2-

"Im just a broken machine, not who I used to be."

(I'm aware I said Tuesday's but why not Friday's as well?)

Mom decided to give me my phone back, with the promise that I'd look into colleges. Dad was quiet and I could tell he was angry that I'd gotten my own way. I'm still not happy with everything. I tried listening to that album I've been thinking about, but I couldn't focus on the lyrics or the way it lingered in my mind.

I was going to spend the day with Zara since it's Saturday, but she had a date with some guy. She never talks to me about boys anymore, or anything for that matter. Zara's just too concerned with her life and how it's changing, and that's fine, I get it. I'm just tired of everything changing. I just wish everything could go back to the way it used to be, when we were just children and carefree. But I suppose that's what growing up means. You gotta break free from everything.

Hey! That'd actually be a great line for a song! I'll come back to that later, though. I think Cortez is knocking.

I was right, it was Cortez. He was holding two pizza boxes and a bottle of root beer in the junction of his elbow.

"Mom and dad just left. Wanna hang?" He has an almost hopeful expression. I can't find it in me to say no, so I open the door for him to come down and he follows down the stairs until we reach my actual room. The carpet is gray plush that makes your feet instantly relaxed and my bed is pushed into the farthest right corner, next to the window that has gray curtains shielding the room from the sunlight. My whole room is gray themed, even my dresser and bed frame.

I watch Cortez look around like he's never been down here. It's almost funny until I realize how much distance I've put between me and my family and guilt courses through me.

"You can put the pizza on the table next to the couch." I tell Cortez. "Did you even bring cups?" I question with a small smile.

"Nah. I forgot."

"That's okay." I assure him. "We can use my coffee mugs."

"Whoa! You still have those?" Cortez's astonished look had me laughing. He's never been able to hold onto anything for more than two weeks, a month if he's lucky. I've had my first coffee cup since my twelfth birthday and all the others I've been given for my birthday. I rarely use them for coffee however, I'm more of a tea person.

"Don't look so surprised. You know I keep pretty much everything."

"True." He agrees, scanning my walls that's covered in memorabilia I've collected over the year or so I've had the basement to myself. There's a small collection of family photos and the rest are of nature photos and my favorite bands. My favorite is the one of Nothing But Thieves, their Broken Machine album poster. It's a black girl with her head turned as if arching her neck to an unseen person and gold cracks across her skin.

I watch as my brother's eyes rest on that particular one with confusion.

"Some of these posters are wack as hell, sis." He then points to a Radiohead poster of their 1993 Pablo Honey album that has a baby's face surrounded by what I've always assumed is sunflower petals. "I do like that one, though. That's adorable."

"Me too. So are we going to eat or what?" My change of topic goes unnoticed by my oblivious brother. As much as I loved music, I didn't really want to discuss that with him. I wanted to find out exactly why he was trying to butter me up with pizza and root beer.

"Yeah, I put the ranch in the box." We sit on the couch and eat from our own box. Mine is plain cheese while Cortez's pizza is covered in mushrooms and olives and... peppers? I'll never understand why anyone would want to put anything but cheese or pepperoni on their pizza but each to their own, I suppose.

"So why'd you come down here?" I question once I see that he seems relaxed. Cortez stops mid bite and avoids eye contact with me and shoves the rest of his pizza in his mouth. He holds up his index finger indicating for me to wait while he finishes chewing. I roll my eyes and stand to get the cups so I can have some root beer. And to wait for his reply.

"Well. Mom and Dad wanted me to find out what was going on with you. You know... with the whole college thing. I tried telling them that I don't think college is, well, you. But they just can't seem to wrap their head around it." He spills, having the decency to look guilty. I sigh.

"And I wanted to know if you could convince Mom and Dad to let me go on a date with Julienne." He rushes out before continuing to eat more pizza.

"Oh my god. You little shit." My head drops to side of the couch.

"I'm sorry about the whole college thing-"

"I could care less about that, honestly. But Julienne? From the choir? Junior Julienne?" I need clarification. My little brother has lost his poor head and needs to be pushed back into reality.

"Uhm. Yes. That one." Cortez leans back, sipping his soda. A red blush covers his cheeks and ears.

"Jesus. You're a sophomore, though. And I can't just convince Mom or Dad to let you do anything." Honestly, you'd think he'd be into girls his own age and girls that had the same interest as him. He could barely even hold the right note, and he knew jack all about the meaning of music. I mean, for me as his sister, he had some good taste in music, but the rest was horrible. And our parents were worried about me?

Christ.

"Please! I really like her."

"Or her boobs?" His face scrunches up with disgust.

"Okay, first off, you and I don't talk about boobs. That's just weird. And second, it's because she seems like a genuinely nice girl and I want to get to know her." Cortez explains, setting pizza box on the floor.

"Have you even talked to her?"

"Yeah. Not like, deeply though. We kinda have the same group of friends but we're not friends, you know?" Ugh, I had to ask. Typical and cliche.

"Yeah, whatever. Just ask if she wants to hang. Or have a real conversation with her and see what she likes and stuff and see if you have anything in common first. That way you can really tell if you like her or not."

"Obviously. What if we don't have the same interests?"

"Then just remain distant friends." I say, continuing to eat my forgotten pizza.

"What the hell is a distant friend?" Cortez asks incredulously. I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Someone whose face you're familiar with and whose name you know and say hi but otherwise don't talk." I tell him simply.

"I'm pretty sure that's an acquaintance."

"Yeah. Same difference."

"Not really, but okay."

"Shut up." I kick him with my foot for being annoying. He shoots me a glare. "Is that all you wanted?"

He pauses, then begins to clean his mess up. He's halfway up the stairs before he calls to me, "Zara wants us to meet this boyfriend of hers tonight so Mom wants us to be ready before 5:30."

I check the time in horror. 3:34. Falling back onto the couch before yelling the only thing that comes to mind.

"Fuuck!" All I hear is Cortez snickering before my door closes.