four alarm fire // matty healy

Comeback Kid

I thought Isaac and I would die like true bandits. Like a Robin Hood thing. Like being shot from a watch tower while making off with bags full of loot.

Or having one of us beaned in the back if the head with a defender's bat while the other is still exploring downstairs.

Or in a Mexican standoff with the Lord of the Manor, as he demands us to hand over his priceless family heirlooms.

Life is full of surprises, I thought as I held the urn. It was a peachy colour, because they ran out of green. Even though I specifically asked for green. My fingers drummed against its shiny enamel.

I sat on the train, going nowhere in particular. I as wearing all black, but I kept forgetting why. Then I looked in my hands again and clutched the urn to my chest.

I'm alone. I used to have a family that loved me but what happened to them? They're either dead or I'm on their hit list.

"It hurts really bad," I kept thinking. He was in so much pain and I couldn't help him. I knew his pulse had stopped far before the emergency services showed up, but I still sat with him anyway. I held his hand and smoothed his hair, then paramedics put one of those heavy blankets on me, and he was gone. Rolled away, but at least he wasn't in pain anymore.

Isaac sat in the morgue for months. His death was ruled as homicide and based on my testimony, they found out that Uncle was responsible. The big question they had was: "Where is he?". I didn't know, I've almost never seen him leave the Den. After investigating for a while, the police told me they were sorry, but they didn't know Uncle's whereabouts either. I don't know why but I was relieved. Isaac would have told me to find him myself, but I didn't.

My fingers ran along the lid of the urn. It had been six months, one week and two days of being alone. It was such a long time to be so lonely. I slept in stranger's beds most of the time, sometimes I stayed late at the Net to see if any of the bouncers were able to give me a perch for the night. Vlad always told me I was welcome to stay with him anytime, but he was lying.

I felt like my arse was blending into my seat. Surely, I was already halfway to having upholstered skin. Soon I would become a part of the train and just travel to and fro all day long. That doesn't sound so bad.

A familiar figure at the other end of the train piqued my interest. My eyes narrowed as they tried to focus on details.  Not-so-tall man, very lanky, looks like he could blend into a Top Shop window display. He slowly turned around and leaned his shoulder against the door. I kept looking, staring trying to place him. He lifted his sunglasses and I immediately shrunk in my seat. Matty.

He hadn't seen me yet, his eyes were glued to his phone. I hadn't seen him since I ditched the tour bus and made off with another bloke. I stood up calmly and walked down toward the opposite end of the train. I was face-to-face with the crack between two doors and anxiously waited for the chime. When the doors split apart, I held onto Isaac for dear life and booked it outside. My feet came to a standstill when I felt the sun hit my face.

"Eris?" I heard behind me. Panting, I turned around to meet a calm Matty. He had removed his earbuds and was looking at me with a strange sense of bewilderment. I felt like a deer in headlights.

"Hey..." I trailed off. "What are you doing here?"

"I live in Peckham." His voice was matter of fact. The street around me was familiar. I was indeed just a few blocks away from Matty's place. For a split second, I thought I could run back inside the station to the next train, but I heard the doors close and the whirring of the engine. I stood straighter as Matty's gaze fell upon the urn.

"This is Isaac, my brother." I said before Matty could say  anything. He apologized earnestly but I didn't know why. I said it was fine but I felt my eyes growing bleary when I looked at his ashes.

"Are you busy today? Can we get a coffee?" He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'd really like to catch up."

I nodded and we walked down the sidewalk together towards a quiet café. Our steps fell in time as we sipped our lattes. We spent the afternoon talking about our lives fondly, for the most part. He didn't ask too many questions about my brother, which I appreciated, but I still felt the need to explain how I got to where I am now.

"We actually just released an single. Do you want to hear it?" He asked, already pulling out his phone. I nodded and then the first few notes played. It sounded bright as the brass instruments chimed in. "It's called Sincerity is Scary. Part of the next album."

"Very true." We finished our coffees and put the paper cups in the grass. The sky was blue and sat in a field together. It seemed that after every anecdote, one of us would drift closer to the other. We were drawn to each other so naturally.

"I, um, still have stuff of yours," he said during a lull in the conversation.

"What?"

"When you left the bus, you left your bag. It was full of papers and new clothes. Do you want to pick it up?" He shielded the sun from his eyes. "Or, I could drop them off somewhere. Where are you living right now?"

"Oh, I'm actually doing this youth group thing. It's not a permanent solution, but it's a good job. The kids are really cool. Creative. Plus they give me free room and board." I went on for a while. The program I work with helps troubled kids stay out of trouble while helping the people that volunteer there. It's the stepping stone I need for an actual job that pays actual money so I can rent an actual place to live and - yeah.

"But yes," I digressed. "I would like my bag back. Is it okay if I pick it up right now?"

His eyes lit up for a moment. Then he nodded with enthusiasm that I hadn't seen before. We tossed our cups into the trash and walked. The three of us: Matty, me and Isaac.