four alarm fire // matty healy

disco tits

The third level of the arena was empty. The nosebleeds. Stands below were full of screaming teens, antsy as they waited for their favourite band to play their favourite song. Me and one of the security guards sat next to each other. Paul spoke into the walkie on his shoulder frequently. He made me feel protected, but he also felt like a friend.

We talked about lots of things. Paul originally went to school for art history, but he said that he was guaranteed a job if he dropped out and worked with his dad, so he never finished his degree. I told him that not having a degree was one thing we had in common, but it turned out that he had a twin brother as well. Paul and his brother didn't get along in their adolescence.

"You should talk to your brother, even if you think he never wants to see you again." Paul and I were waiting for the band, too, I could tell when he looked over every time a sound person walked across the stage. "Don't make the same mistake I did. We lost so much time together."

"I have a feeling he won't speak to me for a long time, Paul." I didn't tell him details about why Isaac wouldn't speak to me, I didn't even mention Isaac's name. "I did something terrible."

"It's okay, darlin'," he gave me a soft punch on the arm. When the lights of the venue dimmed, Paul showed me his crooked teeth in a wide smile. "Show's about to start."

I leaned out over the rail and peered at the stage. A soft fog plumed across the venue and people were going wild in the floor below. There was so much screaming, people threw flowers... and bras.

Go down
Soft sound

The songs kept coming and the boys remained stoic on stage. Except for Matty, of course. He was busy being Matty, egging the others on and wearing little to no clothes. Goof.

"Now that we're all friends and we've had a bit of a jam, I'd like to give a shoutout to one of my friends. Very special to me," I watched Matty glance around the stadium on the large atop the stage. He paused for a single moment where Paul and I sat, then continued to survey the crowd. The boys behind were tuning instruments, but stopped to listen to what he had to say.

"She's having a difficult time right now, and I want to dedicate this to her. She's never told me her favourite song, but I think she'll like this one." The stage filled with soft pink lights. Tendrils of fog pushed to the side of the arena. For a moment, it was just us. Me and him. Him, strumming a few twangy notes on the guitar, and me, sitting in awe.

I wanted to jump up and scream: "Yes! I love this song!"

But I stayed hidden.

She had a face straight out a magazine
God only knows you'll never leave her

It was ironic.

Robbers for a robber. I could hear Matty smirking while he sang the first few lines. He's so smug, I thought, keeping me hidden but sending me a subtle message in front of all his fans. They sang back to him in pure bliss. Unaware.

I grew a new appreciation for the ballad that night.

-

It took nearly 40 minutes for everyone to clear out of the arena. People hung back to see if there would be an encore after the encore's encore, but the guys decided it was time to say goodbye. Bittersweet, in a way.

I snuck out the back with Paul before the second encore, despite my brain wanting to listen to the rest of the setlist. We decided it would be easier to make it back to the bus if we went before fans would try and meet them at the back entrance.

So we did. I put my hood up when he opened the back door of the arena. The bus loomed near the front of the lot. I didn't want to go in again. Not alone, at least. Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to my friend for the evening.

"See you around, darling," Paul was upset, I could tell. So was I, but I think I hid it better.

"See you." He held his hand out it a firm fist. Instead of accepting his bump, I extended my arms in a warm hug. We both smiled when I let go. The door closed behind me.

I sat in the bus, the driver leaning against the front bumper smoking a this cigarette. Was that the safest place to light up? Doubtful.

Night fell upon the city, and I nearly curled up in the bunk I slept in earlier, but the sound of yelling kept me awake. The guys bumbled into the vehicle, hitting one another, screaming at how good the show was. They looked like big toddlers. Rambunctious toddlers.

Matty's smile grew twice in size when he saw me in the bus. I changed into some looser sleepwear when I was alone. It made me much less afraid of getting walked in on. Isaac and I had suffered far too many missteps when we shared a room and I remembered one day we sat down and devised a knocking system for our room and the toilet. Two knocks meant 'I need you to pass something to me through the door', two knocks meant 'are you decent enough for me to come in?', three knocks meant 'I'm coming in on the count of three and you better be covered in some way shape or form'. It worked for us, but I knew that my big toddlers wouldn't get our system right away.

"Hey," I stood in the middle of the floor. Can you call it a floor? It has four wheels attached to it. "You guys had an awesome show."

"Thanks," George said as he made his way to the bus' kitchenette. He peered into the mini fridge. It was nearly a third of his size. "Any pizza leftover from last night?"

Adam and Ross exchanged a glance. The piece hanging from George's lips was still up for grabs. They nearly climbed him to pull the piece of pepperoni away. It was a gongshow. An absolute gongshow.

Matty pulled me from the chaos of the others, whisking me to the other side of the bus. The shrieks from the pizza war were dampened when a pocket door closed behind us.

"I especially like that one song," I glanced down at my nails, "but I couldn't quite hear the lyrics properly. Was it babe, you look circle? That's it, right?"

Matty socked my arm, then stepped forward to close the space between us. I felt the heat from his body after the rush of being onstage. The neck of his shirt hung low against his chest, and showed the glisten of his sweat.

"You know damn well what I said." He smirked and lifted my chin with two fingers. "And I'm glad you liked it."

His eyes fluttered shut as he leaned toward me. I mirrored his movement, then pulled his face toward mine in a kiss. His lips were soft. Softer than I remembered. He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to him, while my hands made a tangle of his hair. The pull between us was undeniable - it felt like we couldn't let go of one another.