Chapter Eight

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Trigger Warning: Abuse Mentions, Alcohol Usage Mentions, Bullying Mentions, Drug Usage Mentions, Rape Mentions, Self Harm Mentions, Sexual Harassment Mentions, Smut Mentions, Suicide Attempts Mentions

Katsuki POV

I didn't really know where to even start. There was a lot to even go over. Or well, a lot to me, but it was mainly repetitive. I played with the hem of my shirt, thinking for a while. “It's okay Kit-Kat, take your time. Don't rush yourself.” Shoto said, gently rubbing my back in gentle circles.

“Hey.. What's with the nickname?” I asked after a few moments. It's not that I didn't like it or anything, it was just sudden and new, and I was only just now realizing so.

“What? You gave me a nickname. Or well, two for that matter. Can't I give you one?” He asked, tilting his head a bit and watching as I gave a small nod. “I was thinking Kitty Kat for a second name.” Shoto said with a playful smirk, seeming to be expecting a physical reaction from me. And he indeed got one. I semi-aggressively mushed Shoto's forehead, earning a small laugh in return.

I huffed slightly and crossed my arms, which ended up at my sides again at some point. I took a deep breath, might as well start at the beginning. “Deku and I grew up together as you may know. And there was this.... Issue he had that I used to tease him about at some point. After a while of this, he started retaliating. We started fighting. But after a few years, it escalated from verbal fighting to physical fighting. At this time, we were still in elementary school and I still didn't know how to handle my quick properly. Deku as you know, takes notes on people he seemingly looks up to. He's been doing this for so long and I- I'm pretty sure he started with me. Or he just knew me for so long that he knew what I could and couldn't do and how I would do and deal with these things. He's very observant. He started winning these physical fights of ours.”

I paused and looked away from my hands to Shoto. To my surprise, Shoto was looking back at me, seemingly completely attentive to what I was saying. I took another breath and looked back at my hands. “As you know, we get second genders at age thirteen. And we were the first to know each other's second genders. This is when... This is when things started getting worse. With everyone.”

I ran my hands over my sleeved wrists and forearms. Some scars could be felt through the thin material. Some more so than others. Shoto leaned forward and despite his messed up arm, he took both of my hands in his own and looked me in my eyes. “Take your time.” He said in a soothing voice, successfully keeping me calm for the most part.

I looked into this non matching colored gaze of his. For once, now that I payed attention, they didn't hold hatred or disgust like they did when we first met. But that was almost a year ago. Now they were filled with understanding, comfort, interest, and love.

“When we got our second genders, Deku's strength got boosted. A lot. And that seemed to make him want to fight me more, knowing that I couldn't win. My father didn't take kindly to the news either. Before all of this, my mother was the aggressive one, and he was the sweet and quiet one. But he started yelling at me for being weak. He started drinking. And he came home and started hitting me and my mom. He put me on strict rules and if I even slightly did it wrong, I got beat up. My mother tried to help me multiple times but, he always made sure she was down first after a while..”

I looked away from Shoto, to our connected hands. This was harder than I thought it would be. But, I was feeling a little better about the situation. I let out a breath through my nose and continued. “When I turned fourteen, that's when the sexual assault started. Deku would hold me as tight as possible and touch me, and always did it in public spaces and told me to be quiet or someone would notice. There was once when I did make noise. I screamed because I wanted someone to help me.. Someone did come, but they weren't willing to help. They looked at the situation and quickly ran away. I was hoping that that would tell a teacher, or at least someone who would. But I never heard anything. That day, Deku beat me up to a point where I could barely even move, and then took me home and told my dad that I started a fight with some other Alpha, thinking I could win. And my dad just made me even worse.. I started drinking and cutting after that, which quickly turned into me trying to take my life. My mother, started taking drugs and started drinking at this point. She never hit me, but she was rarely there to help me anymore. I tried cutting until I bled out, I tried drowning myself, hanging myself, overdosing on my mother's drugs. I tried jumping off a building.. Everytime I was mostly caught in the act or my body gave into its natural instincts to get away from danger.”

I could feel tears quickly welling up in my eyes and falling down my cheeks. I take a moment to try and catch my breath and calm down, but I gave up and started speaking through my sobs. “Soon after, I got my first Heat while I was in class. I tried asking my teacher to let me go to our infirmary but he got to Deku first. Deku asked to take me because I had an obvious problem and he didn't... Want any Alphas trying to do anything bad to me. Deku was seen as a nice and in control Alpha at the time and so my teacher thought he could handle me. I tried saying I could go on my own but my teacher insisted I go with him so that I wouldn't get attacked. And that was the day Deku got me.. Pregnant for the first time. My father wasn't pleased because the pregnancy scent connected to me quickly. That was probably the worse he'd ever beat me. I- I was able to get an abortion before it was too late.. I didn't want to, but I'm not ready for any kids just yet. Especially not his.”

I pulled my hands away from Shoto's and wiped my face, or tried to. “It's basically been a repetitive thing ever since... It's only been about four years but I- I can't take it. It hurts.” I sobbed. I felt a strong grip on my arm and I looked up as Shoto pulled me to him and cradled me. “Todoroki, your arm-” He shushed me and just held me close, allowing me to sob.

“You matter more than a stupid injury.”

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⏰ Last updated: May 14, 2020 ⏰

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