one - conflicted

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"eddie -bear!"

i closed my notebook as i heard footsteps become louder and louder. the notebook was out of sight by the time my mother opened the door.

"yes mom?" i looked up at her.

neutral

"don't forget to take your pills," she reminded me. she reminded me of this every day as if i was going to forget. i clenched my jaw tightly to restrain myself from rolling my eyes.

i swallowed, "yes, mom."

without another word, she closed the door and continued with her daily routine.

my eyes darted across the room to check the status above my head. the mirror was covered in dust, but i still saw the letters that hung over my head.

annoyed

"makes sense," i muttered. my muscles relaxed, and i finally released the sheets that were balled into my fist with a deep breath before getting up and doing what my mother ordered.

i wish i didn't have to take the pills. ever since my dad passed away, my health has declined. i'm not deathly sick, but maintaining all the medicine and being on top of my hygiene all the time is something that has become a chore. it doesn't matter though; it's just part of my routine.

swallowing my last pill, i let out a long sigh. i knew i had to go soon, but i didn't want to leave the comfort of my room. the day felt uncomfortable. despite clouds in the sky and rain coming down, the street was bright and sunny. the colorful leaves fell occasionally, but it still felt like summer. kids seemed to pass by with friends or by themselves at a slower pace than usual. my eyes scanned the street until i saw him.

"bill!" i said to myself. i turned away from my window, grabbed my belongings, and navigated my way out of the house and up to bill.

calm

"hey!" i greeted enthusiastically. he craned his neck to look at with a small smile on his face. the word quickly flickered out and a new word appeared in return.

"hi uh-e-eddie!" he greeted.

delighted

i smiled to myself. it felt good to make someone somewhat happy, especially bill. i get nervous when around people. sometimes i wish i didn't see what people were like under their facade, but these were the moments that made it worth it. "how are you today?" i ask innocently.

he shrugged. "ok-kay," he explained, "i thuh-think i'm g-gonna talk to h-her today."

bill has been talking non-stop about a girl he saw at the drug store. he talked all the time about her pretty eyes and her pretty hair. i didn't mind listening to him talk about her, as long as he was happy; all i minded was the word that would display above his head while talking about her.

conflicted

"you really think you're gonna do it?" i asked. he breathed out heavily and turned his head to look towards the horizon. "yeah," he confirmed, "yeah i a-uh-am."

of course i didn't really believe him. every time he says that he'll talk to the girl, he ends up chickening. he'd talk about his failed attempts later, but it was quite apparent that he just wasn't really trying. it was a mystery to me what was stopping him.

"hey, guys."

peaceful

stanley uris gave a half-smile as if to greet us. i mirrored his expression in return, "h-h-hi stuh-stan." the word above bill's head changed again.

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