“Oh, and by the way, you’ll never guess who I talked to at a bar yesterday,” Taehyung said to his roommate. It was early in the morning and they had been talking for a few minutes on the phone now, since the youngest one stayed at his boyfriend’s place the night before.
“Namjoon?”, Jin asked curiously.
“No!- Oh, wait”, he was surprised, “You’re right… How do you know?”
He laughed. “I met him at the bar, he was the bartender that served me on Halloween,” he explained.
"Hmm… Anyway, what I wanted to say about him- Remember how I told you he got bullied?"
"Yeah? I still don't believe you."
"You should, hyung, since he literally told me himself. I was talking to him, asked if he was at the same school as me, he was. Then I asked if he had been bullied back then, he said yes. You have to believe me, Jin. Go ask him yourself," Taehyung claimed.
"Fine, I will. If you're right, I won't ever say anything about your videogames anymore. But if I'm right, you have to play Mario games with me. Deal?" He grinned at the phone, convinced someone like Namjoon would never get bullied.
He laughed in response: "Deal. Oh, and for your information, you just killed yourself by making this deal."
"We'll see about that later on, buddy," Jin said confidently.
"We sure will", he grinned, "but now I have to go; Jungkook and I are going picnicking. It’s a bit chilly outside, but the lake near the park looks pretty during this time of the year."
Jin and Taehyung lived near a large park that always had something idyllic, it was unique. In the autumn the ground was layered with leaves of all the cherry blossom trees, so they could start blooming in March and April. The lake that belonged to it, was the prettiest when there was fog in the air during the autumn and winter seasons.
Today was one of those days.
"Alright. Bye! Take care of yourselves and have fun."
"Will do! I'll see you tonight, hyung."
He hung up and immediately opened Snapchat to text Namjoon about the fact that whether or not he actually got bullied in his high school years.
--
SNAPCHAT:
JinrassicPark (2)
--
JinrassicPark:
Hey Namjoon, my roommate just told me he talked to you at Exch. Seoul yesterday, um, he said you guys went to the same high school… He said you were bullied and that you also actually admitted that to him, is that true? Did you get bullied?
I’m here if you want to talk about it to me…
--
Namjoon read his messages, in shock he kept on reading and reading them again.
He knew it. Jin knew it.
He took a deep breath and decided to do what Yoongi told him to do: explain it.
--
Namjesus:
Yeah, I got bullied because of my looks. They made pictures of my face and uploaded them, putting offensive things above it, which was funny to a lot of people, and um, yeah…
But I’m fine now. I don’t really have to talk about it
JinrassicPark:
Is this why you’re wearing a mask?
If I may ask, of course…
Namjesus:
Why do you think that?
JinrassicPark:
Halloween is over and you’re still wearing it… And if they made fun of your face, for quite a long time I suppose, you’re probably scared of showing it and maybe that’s why you’re wearing it…
Am I right?
Namjesus:
Yeah
Anyways, how are you? Everything alright?
JinrassicPark:
Don’t shrug it off like it never happened…
Are you ever going to take it off?
Namjesus:
No.
JinrassicPark:
Why not? I’m sure you’re handsome
Namjesus:
I’m ugly. I’m not taking it off. Not for anyone.
JinrassicPark:
Not even for me?
Namjesus:
No, why would I? What makes you different from the others?
JinrassicPark:
Oh
Um
I’m your friend? I’m supportive, I think?
Namjesus:
The fact that you’re questioning your own statements says enough lol
I’m not taking it off, Jin
JinrassicPark:
I bet you look good
Namjesus:
Okay
Means that I don’t care by the way
JinrassicPark:
I’m sorry for bothering…
--
Namjoon’s message was a punch in his stomach. He started to feel a lump form in his throat and after swallowing it, he felt empty.
Emptiness was a feeling he had experienced a lot ever since he had been together with Kun-woo, and it lasted even after he left. It was something else his trauma had caused.
Jin started getting the feeling he was more of a burden towards Namjoon and now regretted the fact that he ever even tried to be kind to him and paid for his dinner.
He just wanted more people in his circle to love him other than his parents, who lived in another city far away from Seoul, other than Taehyung and his boyfriend, other than Mark and other than two of his colleagues at All Night Chandeliers. That’s when he realised that that probably wasn’t possible, something that didn’t exist.
Jin wasn’t lovable. He was a burden to everyone.
The only person that could ever love him, was Kun-woo.
But Jin had decided to leave him.
Ah, snap out of it! He thought to himself. He was overthinking again, and it wasn’t what he was supposed to do, he knew Kun-woo was not good for him.
He was lovable!
He just needed to find the right person, but it was hard.
Jin was plagued by trust issues and jealousy, and most importantly, by fear.
He was trying to help Namjoon and make him feel comforted, but it didn’t help. He bothered him, and that was yet another confirmation that he was annoying.
That’s when he made sure he wouldn’t text him that much anymore, or even just stop. It wasn’t worth it.
As he made his decision he decided to take a quick shower, without looking at his body, just a quick shower to get ready for his work and then hopefully forget about what just had happened.
YOU ARE READING
Mask || NAMJIN FF
Fanfiction"I don't want to lose you because I look ugly. Just let me wear my mask..." Namjoon has a really low self-esteem and thinks he's ugly. Jin thinks everyone is worth to be seen, no matter how they look, but is afraid of love. ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚-˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙...
