The End.

Unsteady

When Lucas arrived home the next morning he fully expected Eliott to not be there.
So when he walked into the living room and saw him sitting on the couch, on his phone, he was taken aback.
He could tell Eliott wanted to jump up and hug him but he was holding himself back. He looked like Lucas felt.
Exhausted.
Stressed.
"You came back." He said softly.
"I live here"
"I wasn't sure you'd want to anymore" eliotts eyes are brimming with tears that haven't fallen.
Lucas exhales and sits on the opposite side of the couch.
He doesn't say anything to Eliotts remark. He sees his boyfriends phone lighting up with messages.
"Are you ready to talk or do you have somewhere else you need to be?"
Eliott turns his phone over.
"No Lucas. I'm here with you."
"Are you though?"
They both stare at each other.
"I know my leaving last night was hard on you. I'm sorry for that. But I needed time to clear my head. I didn't want to make things worse." Lucas explained.
"Can I ask where you went? Who you spent the night with?"
Lucas looks at him stunned.
"Eliott I didn't take off and hook up with some random if that's what you think. I was at Emmas" he says exasperated "I wouldn't do that to you. To us. I love you. But this can't keep happening. You have to start trusting me. Trust us. Otherwise this isn't going to work. And I can't be with someone I don't trust."
Eliotts phone starts ringing. Cutting the conversation short.
"Do you just want to take it?"
"No it's just Lola. I can call her back later."
"Lola? Daphnes sister? What is she doing with your number?"
Lucas can feel all his insecurities creeping up inside him.
~you don't deserve him Lucas~
~you'll never be enough~
His mind goes back to his conversation with Arthur.
He can't. He can't go back there right now.
"It's nothing Lucas. We just started talking at the funeral. I felt for her all alone in the corner. Daphne has all of us. Lola has no one. I understand that."
A lightbulb goes off in his head. The night of Daphnes surprise party. He'd interrupted their conversation and felt like he was an outsider.
"Let me get this straight. A kid knew about your other life before I did?"
"Lucas she's not a kid. She's only a year younger than you."
Lucas looks intensely at his boyfriend.
"You aren't helping yourself right now, Eliott"
Eliott heard his warning and tries to explain.
"It wasn't like that. She happened to be there at a party I was tagging at. She's not to blame for this. I lied to you. Not her."
Ummm technically she did honey. She covered your ass to my face.
He felt rage coming again and calmed himself. Not the battle to fight right now but he wasn't done with this kid yet.
"Lucas, she doesn't matter. Can we please get back to us. How do we fix this?"
Simple.
STOP FUCKING LYING TO ME!!!
He wanted to scream but that would help nothing.
"I don't know how. I don't know how to get you to trust me. I don't know what I've done to make you think I can't be trusted. To be honest babe...I feel like you're punishing me for what you think Lucille did to you. I didn't stifle you. I didn't coddle you. I didn't try to control you. I've gone out of my way to try not to be all those things. All I know is I'm tired. So tired of always being the last to know."
Eliott comes to his side then. Cups his face in his hands and looks at him with that eternal love for him in his eyes. They are both crying.
"I'm so sorry. God what am I doing to us? Please forgive me. I love you so much. I'll do better Lucas. I promise. You're everything to me. Don't you know that?You're the only thing that's ever mattered to me. I can't lose you!"
Lucas nods at him. Looking at his beautiful face.
God he loves him.
So fucking much.
He takes another leap of faith.
"I forgive you, Eli. But we have to be better. We've got to be better otherwise we won't make it. We've got to make it because I don't want any of this without you."
Eliott pulls him into his embrace.
Holds him so tightly.
Kisses his hair and neck.
"I love you, Lucas. Always."
"I love you more"
And he knew at that moment he did.
More.
Always more.