The Knight of Settadel

Chapter 4

Warning - Please be advised that this chapter contains sensitive subject such as suicide.

It was already early afternoon when Louella and I had finished buying everything that we needed to buy. We didn't get much clothes for me. I had to convince Louella not to buy too much since I don't want her to use her money on me when she can use it on something more important.

So she had only bought three set of clothes for me and some sandals since the shoes that I was wearing is already worn out. After that, we walked around the market some more so that Louella could buy a stock for a week and I made sure to carry all that she had bought so that she won't have to do additional effort.

The sun is high up on the sky when Louella and I finished buying the groceries and began our walk back to her home. Throughout the whole time, she would constantly ask if I need some help or at least to rest, but I always tell her no.

The regular exercise at the fire department had given me more than enough strength to carry everything until we had arrived back home.

My grandmother had already passed away before I could even finish college, and it took everything in me to even finish it. I had promised her that, no matter what, I would get my degree so, even though I no longer had the passion for it, I finished it.

I no longer wished to find the job related to my degree. Well, I really didn't know what I wanted to do. Saying that I was lost would be an understatement. I've tried out different jobs, looking for the one that would ignite the fire in me again.

It took more than a year but, I've found it at the fire department.

The job that had ignited the fire in me is the job to... put out fires. I'm only seeing this irony now that I'm thinking about it. But that is what I've wanted, that is what gave me purpose, so I decided to stay. For how long, I didn't know. I guess until I need the fire to be ignited again.

2 years later and I still had that job. The pay was nice and my colleagues are... nice as well. They aren't like the others so, for me, they're better.

I've relatively grown throughout the years that I had been there and the fire in me still hasn't died out. I did couple of freelancing jobs here and there, such as house repairs and the likes, just to add more spice into my life, but I can safely say that helping out others is what made me feel alive, it gave me a sense of purpose. It made me happy.

Of course, there are still tons of people that's still trying to push me down. I guess that's just what they do to things that they don't understand. If you haven't guessed it yet well, I'm a hermaphrodite.

They've found out about it when I was around 6 when I wasn't growing up like how a regular boy should. My parents are very wealthy people and they are the ones who are very meticulous to details, so they had everything about me checked to make sure that no information about why I am not growing properly would be missed.

It didn't take too long though, because it was pretty hard to miss the ovaries that I have... Or shouldn't have, should I say.

We were informed that 1 out of 2000 births are intersex. Unfortunately, for my parents, I was one of them.

At that age, I didn't know much what was going on. All my parents told me was that I needed to be corrected and, as I child, I believed them so I agreed to everything they said.

They said there was something inside of me that needed to be removed. They said it was dangerous, so I agreed to the surgery that they had put me in. They had me corrected by removing the female parts in me.

Everything went back to normal after that, or at least for them. They didn't really give me much explanation as to what had happened and the doctor was using complex words for my 6-year-old self to comprehend, so I was left in the dark, wondering what was really wrong with me.