[Present]
Vapid turbulence wakes me up. I hate airplanes more and more every passing second.
Anyhow, as my eyes creak open, I see a nose – or, rather, a snout; a wet snout, at that – buried into my left eye.
'WHOA, WHAT THE - ?’
‘Baba-boo-boo,' a voice I’ve never heard before speaks up. ‘Goo-ga-haha.’
I recoil, falling face-first in the aisle. The snout was See's. But the voice . . . whose voice was that?
‘Who else is on this plane?’ I say, loudly.
Everyone else snickers. And by “everyone” I mean Mr. Om, Aar, Bee, Es . . . and See?
Yes, he is snickering too. A dog – a beagle – is snickering like a . . . toddler? A girl? Something in between? In a human, feminine voice. Out of all the things I’ve seen in my life, all the things I’ve experienced – including dying, being in Void and coming back – this is definitely the strangest.
I rub my eyes, almost sure that’ll make this hallucination end. Maybe Dad's blood made me go nuts.
‘Baba, why you scare?’ See's canine jaws move, but I can’t believe this voice is coming out of him. He’s an animal, for Nosferatu’s sake!
'Wha . . . what?’
'Baba boo-boo, no mean startle, baba. Baba pale like bone I eat.’
‘What – how – HOW ARE YOU SPEAKING ALL OF A SUDDEN?!’
Es, sniggering still, hovers over to me. ‘I gave the cutie doggie walky-talky ability. Hehe.'
She actually said “hehe,” which no one ever really does. But this is Es. And that’s not even the weirdest thing on this plane right now.
‘You did what?’
Bee educates me: 'You know how Es used to do that to beetles and flies and other insects. But she says she’s been feeling a lot more confident with her powers since the You-know-what Day. More in touch with her spirit side. So she tried it on See . . . and it worked. There’s still limits to it, though. She can only – See! Stop eating the chair, it’s unhygienic! Come here!’
The beagle runs to her on all fours. ‘Babi, cuddles!’
Bee pets him. I rub my eyes again.
'Hehe,' Es hisses.
My mind is whirling.
‘Make him normal again, please,' I say. ‘And don’t ever do that again. That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.’
I recognize the level of filler-ism feel this chapter radiates. I promise, this has a role later on.
And now, for the adventure to begin . . .
YOU ARE READING
Sort of Dead
Humor**This book features short, fun, snappy chapters** **Perfectly fine as a standalone** [Caution: may pack a couple of gutpunches.] "First things first: this is the story of how I die. Over and over again." __________________________________ Marra is...
