Marriage. It's a scary commitment that many people make. A commitment I'm going to make in 6 months. 6 short months and I can call Owen my husband. I'll be Mrs Holland Marie Hunt. I walk into work on cloud nine
My mood sticks for a while as I tend to patients, discharging a few from their wards, a lot of the kids were happy to go home, others were not as happy to be going back to school.
On my way to meet Owen for lunch I bump into the one person I really wished I would never see again "you don't seem to be showing much, you sure you weren't just fat?" Asks Teddy smugly, I shoot her a look that would kill her if looks could kill "I actually had a miscarriage" I reply, she shrugs "must've broke Owens heart, so did he dump your fat ass?" Asks Teddy nonchalantly, the fucking nerve on this woman
My blood begins to boil the longer I stare at her but I have to keep my cool, I won't break in front of her "no, in fact Owen still loves me and we are still getting married, unlike you when Owen is going to marry someone he doesn't sleep with other people" I retort, Teddy's face twitches with anger at my words and I know I've done something "you little bitch!" Exclaims Teddy, I shrug nonchalantly
"Just giving you a taste of your own medicine" I say sweetly, she scoffs and rolls her eyes "at least I managed to actually have mine and Owens baby" retaliates Teddy, my heart drops and shatters into a million pieces and I'm finding it hard to keep it together, or breathe for that matter but now is not the time for a panic attack
"How fucking dare you" I spit, "you don't even know why I miscarried you're just itching to be better than me so that Owen can take you back, but newsflash, that's never gonna happen so fuck off. How many times do I have to tell you that no one wants you here, go off with your precious Tom or whatever man or woman you're using for sex now i don't know your preferences and frankly I don't care, just fuck off" I continue
"You're the problem here so maybe you should take your own advice and fuck off" retorts Teddy, I scoff, shaking my head "how am I the problem? You ruined everything you had with Owen before I was even in Seattle so tell me how I'm the problem" I say, Teddy thinks for a moment "you took him away from me, we could've made up but you brainwashed him and made him think he's in love with you when we all know Owen and I are made for each other" replies Teddy
"If you were made for each other then why did you cheat on him the day you were going to get married?" I ask, she scoffs "that wasn't my fault!" Exclaims a Teddy "sorry when did sex become a one man job?" I ask rhetorically, Teddy groans frustratedly "Tom came onto me first and I gave in" said Teddy
"So? Some man tried to feel me up the other day but I didn't have sex with him and why? Because I'm in love with Owen, because I'm faithful to Owen. Learn the difference, Teddy, if you really loved him you wouldn't have done what you did and for the love of god I'm not fat! Please stop calling me that! It's childish first of all and it's completely ignorant to all the struggles I went through as an anorexic teenager so maybe think before you speak and FYI, my miscarriage was caused by physical assault from my abusive ex boyfriend so maybe next time gather up your facts before you open your goddamn mouth" I retaliate
Teddy stutters, fumbling for her words "Holland, I" begins Teddy but I silence her "don't, save your bullshit apology, I don't want it. You weren't willing to be nice to me before, don't start now because you know something bad about me, you really wanna be friendly? Maybe start saying hello as a conversation starter instead of commenting on my weight or trying to find something you know will make me break now if you don't mind I'm late for a lunch date with the love of my life" I spit
I turn on my heels and head for the cafeteria. I find Owen sitting at a table and I collapse onto the seat opposite him. I can't breathe. "Holland?" I hear a muffled sound but there's a ringing in my ears so I can't make out who it is, it's probably Owen but I don't know
My breathing becomes shallow and quick. My head feels heavy and my vision is kinda blurred, I guess from the lack of oxygen going to my head. This is a bad panic attack. I need to breathe. I feel like I'm going to pass out, I won't. You can't pass out when having a panic attack because you're taking in so much air that your blood is pumping through your veins still so I'm ok. I just need to breathe.
Deep breaths, Holland, deep breaths. I finally calm down and I look over at a very distraught Owen "Holland, are you ok?" Asks Owen panicked, I nod slowly "I'm sorry I- I um" I stutter not wanting to tell him I had a full blown panic attack "Holland, you were having a panic attack, what happened?" Asked Owen, he knows me well. "I bumped into Teddy, she made a comment saying I'm not showing and I told her I miscarries and it ended up in a lot of shouting and my anxiety built up but I suppressed it and it turned into a full blown panic attack" I explain quickly
"I swear to god, that bitch" says Owen clenching his fist, I put my hand over his fist, "Owen, I'm ok, leave it it's fine" I say softly, he relaxes and I get up, sit on his lap and kiss him "I love you" he says, I smile "I love you too" I reply
_____________________________
Hello there my lovelies!
This was an intense chapter! But don't worry there are happier ones to come! I hope you enjoyed this update guys!
Thank you for all your love and support I love you all!
Have a beautiful day you wonderful specimens :))
Stay strong
Stay safe
Stay wonderful
Stay smiling
All my love, Blue xxx
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Her Anatomy|| ✔️
FanfictionHolland Jenkins has just started at Grey Sloan Memorial as a pediatrics surgeon. As Holland embarks on her journey she encounters several new people whom she will befriend along the way, she gets up to mischief as many of the doctors do and she find...
