Chapter Fifteen

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"What do you mean your mom contacted you?" Asks Owen, I shrug, still unsure of how to process it myself  "I don't know, Owen, somehow she found out about me and she was there at the hospital before I shouted at Teddy and I was kinda shaken up but I thought being with you would make things better but obviously my facade isn't working" I reply, I watch Owen's face contort as he tries to process this information

"Do you have any form of contacting her again?" Asks Owen, I nod slowly as I fish for a piece of paper "she gave me her email and her number in case I wanted to get in touch" I reply, Owen thinks for a moment "and do you want to get in touch?" Asks Owen

"I don't know, Owen, ok? I'd rather not sit here and dwell on the person that left me, abandoned me, the person who didn't have the decency to even take me inside the fire station she left me in the fucking trash, I was found three days later by a fire fighter who fostered me for a while and then he died, he fucking died and I was 9. I don't know if I want to know my mom, I don't know what I want to do, I need time to process this what I don't need is you ambushing me with questions" I snap, I shake my head and sigh, I get up and walk out. I don't give a shit if it's my apartment I need to be somewhere else

I end up at the docs, watching the ferries pass on the water. I sit there and cry. What went wrong? Why is my life so fucked up? I pull out my phone and the piece of paper and ring the number on it "hello, this is Holland, Holland Jenkins, is this- is this Samantha Knightley?" I ask, I hear a muffled sound and then a heavy breath "yes, this is Samantha" replies Samantha "are you free to meet at the Dunkin by the docs?" I ask

"Yeah sure, be there in ten" replies Samantha. I sit in the Dunkin with an iced coffee and a donut and then she walks in. The all too familiar face that I should call mom but I don't know her well enough to.

"What changed your mind?" Asks Samantha as she sits down opposite me "I wanna know why, why you abandoned me, who you are, who my father is, everything" I reply, she sighs

"Well, first of all, I had you when I was 15, I was so not ready for a kid and my parents- well my father was...rough and your father was some bad boy and" stutters Samantha "and what? Don't stop don't leave out a detail" I say sternly, she doesn't meet my eye "your father was so excited when he found out I was pregnant, he was planning out a while family thing and so I panicked and told him he wasn't allowed to see the baby and then my parents said they'd kick me out if I kept you so I dumped you and for years I've been carrying the burden and so I went to the fire station, they said you went to a foster home so I went there and I followed your trail to the hospital and here we are" replied Samantha

"So I could've had one parent? I could've had a dad but because you freaked out you threw it away? That's fucked on another level, fuck this I want to talk to my father, let me know when you have contact to him and then I'll be interested" I snap. Jesus I'm so on edge today. I need to apologise to Owen, although if I were him I'd punch me in the face and tell me to fuck off.

"Look, Holland, this is where your dad works, visit there some time, I'm sorry for what I did I regret it and I was hoping to get to the part where I tell you you have a sister and two brothers" replies Samantha, I scoff and shake my head

"So you say you regret dumping me but the other three were good enough? No never mind I don't care anymore I'm done, thanks for your time Samantha, I won't be seeing you anytime soon, bye" I say, I pick my bag up and walk away.

I check the piece of paper "Harley Davidson Motorcycles" my dad works at a Harley Davidson store? Cool. I eventually find it and walk inside, I walk up to the cashier and look at the man who smiles at me, he has kind blue eyes, light brown hair and a bright face. "Hi, I'm looking for an employee here, I'm looking for Elijah Jenkins" I say, the man raises an eyebrow "I'm Elijah Jenkins, how can I help?" Replies the man

Hold the fuck up "hi, I'm Holland, Holland Jenkins...you probably don't know me but I'm um, I'm your daughter" I say, he steps away from the cash register and walks over to me "let's go outside, find a coffee shop or something" says Elijah, I nod and follow him.

We sit in a nice little coffee shop "so, uh, did Samantha tell you I was some bad boy who didn't give a shit? Because when I found out what she did I was furious I tried to get you back but she wouldn't tell me anything" says Elijah

"She said you were some bad boy but she told me you were excited to be having a baby and I wanted to know you" I reply, he nods "so things must've been tough for you growing up, tell me everything, I want to know my daughter" says Elijah. So I tell him everything, leaving nothing untouched. I tell him about my bad habits, about med school. I tell him everything and he doesn't bat an eyelid.

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