Silver Eyes

Leap

"See ya." He said, making a face, with his eyebrows raised and his mouth pulled into an insane grin.

"See ya." I called, as his two friends followed him out after they left the tip on the table. When they had left the pub, I exhaled loudly, collapsing down onto my chair. I turned back to an intense-eyed, serious-looking Marnie.

"Who was that?" she asked furtively.

"He's the one who drove me to the hospital." I told her. Her unenthusiastic tone made me feel like I had to keep the shock and wonderment I was feeling from showing. I also tried not to look like my heart was beating a million beats per minute or my head was spinning.

"Do you like him?" she probed.

"I do..." I said hesitantly, deciding that I should divulge and tell her my fears. Her eyebrows raised at my uncertainty like I knew they would.

"Why do you sound unsure?" she probed.

"It's not him. I like him, but I don't really know him. He really looks like my ex did." I started, trying not to give her the wrong idea and failing.

"Ohhh!" she nodded like she understood leaning back in the seat and dismissing the matter. This told me I needed to elaborate and I sighed.

"No, it's not like that. It's just that my boyfriend killed himself in June." I whispered the last part, tears escaping my eyes. If it weren't for the intimate pub environment, I would've wanted to get up and leave. The dim lighting made it easy to feel like you were in your own place. "I shouldn't be falling for anyone so soon after..." I spilled. I hadn't told anyone about how I felt, but I needed to get it out.

"I know." she murmured, her sympathy almost inciting tears from me. Surprise hit my face.

"You do?"

"Yeah. Everyone does."

"Why did he do it?" she asked.

"His parents were having trouble. I had been dating him for three years..." I whispered through my constricting throat. I had begun to sob and desperately tried to pull myself together so Marnie didn't think I was being dramatic or something. I clenched my teeth together and stretched up in my seat to combat the sobs and wiped my eyes before looking up to focus on her.

"Silver, Baby, that's terrible." She cooed. "But you can't let it ruin your life. You should allow yourself to find happiness. Be sad for him, but don't lock yourself up and refuse to live your life because he can't." she insisted, working to empower me. It did make me feel better about Jack, but it also made me feel like a whiny sob-story too.

Marnie and I made plans with Scarlet to do an initiation ceremony the following week at Marnie's house and Damien, Cassidie, and Milo made plans with each other to play video games and eat junk food so they weren't interested. I secretly wanted them to join us, so that we'd all be united like a little gang, but I didn't want to admit this to anyone.

"He asked me if I wanted to see a movie and I gave him my phone number...He gave me his," I divulged to my group on Friday morning.

"No kiss?" Cassidie said it like she had been cheated.

"Silver, I don't know...Sounds a little creepy." Damien warned.

"I doubt she trusts him already, but what's the harm of going on a date?" Scarlet argued. Damien made a face that said 'lots of things', but to my relief we dropped the subject and moved on to talk about upper-year teachers and applying for college. This of course, I tuned out, as my mind wandered into thoughts of Alex and Jack. I wondered if Alex's ghost would be upset if he thought I was cheating on him with Jack.