Summer Girl || A Shourtney Story

.10 if devotion is a river, then i'm floating away

Given all that has been going on in the US, I was hesitant to post this chapter. The last week has been heavy on my heart as I am trying to educate myself about the Black Lives Matter movement and how I can be a better ally as a WOC. In the end, I decided to post this chapter to offer some distraction to those who need to unplug from the current situation for a moment. Self-care is incredibly important during these times. And when you are ready, I encourage you to listen, learn, vote, and donate if you are able.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy it.

***

Most nights of this trip were spent thinking about Shayne instead of sleeping. I tossed and turned in the bottom of my bunk, struggling to wrap my head around what I had realized.

I loved him. Like, a lot.

Love was such a strong word. Fear crept into my mind almost immediately. Telling someone you love them when you haven't even started dating was way off-base. He would probably think I was crazy. To be fair, I definitely felt crazy.

But Olivia's voice remained persistent in the back of my mind. I was scared - hell, I was terrified of losing him. The only way to move forward was to take a leap of faith. Not for him - for me.

Heavy thoughts of what to say and when to say it clouded my mind throughout the night and into the next morning. I barely had enough energy to memorize my belly flop monologue for our final competition. It was a risky plan, but I needed to pull out all the stops if Mushroom Clout was going to win the last challenge.

My body woke up, falling in line with the familiar routine. The morning was lonely without Olivia. I groggily packed my swim gear and headed for the van, where the cast gradually gathered and drove to a local pool at a community center. The production crew had already gone to set up the shoot ahead of time, but I had yet to see what the decorations were.

To say I was awestruck would be an understatement. The fence surrounding the pool was covered with mesh webbing and tattered camouflaged fabric. There were random props strewn across the deck - everything from prop limbs to shrubbery and even some furniture. Best of all was the pool, dyed a bright red. It looked like someone had thrown up fruit punch Kool-Aid all over the place (turns out, it was Kool-Aid after all).

I hadn't gotten the chance to speak with Shayne since last night, apart from a sleepy "good morning" at breakfast. Every time I got near him, my heart rate soared. Gathering the courage to tell him how I felt became more difficult with every passing minute. He needed to know. I just didn't know what to say. Or how to say it. Or when.

Basically, I was helpless.

The Belly Flop Competition seemed to be the perfect distraction. Being surrounded by the cast with no privacy ensured that I wouldn't do something stupid beforehand. It was foolproof. As cowardly as it was, I wasn't past using literal human shields. At least temporarily.

Upon arrival, the girls sectioned off into the locker rooms to change into our swim gear. Since Olivia had left for her Europe trip, it was just Mari, Kimmy, and me. The bottle green lockers lined the walls, paired with wooden benches and questionable shower stalls on the sides. It looked like my high school rec center.

"So, Kimmy," Mari grinned as she pulled out her lime-green two-piece, "I saw you and Damien cooking up a storm last night."

A tomato red blush swept Kimmy's tanned cheeks. "I was just bummed from paintball yesterday, so he offered to make cupcakes with me since he knows I love baking." She began to throw on her own pink swimsuit, trying to play off her excitement casually.