Chapter 41 : Shukar

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• picks up not exactly where the last chapter ended, but a few paragraphs prior to the ending :) •

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• picks up not exactly where the last chapter ended, but a few paragraphs prior to the ending :) •

【 41.

Forty-one

Shukar 】

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[ Shukar • thankfulness ]

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      ZACHARY PULLS BACK after leaving behind an apologetic kiss on her eye, his chest filled to the brim with an unbelievable amount of emotion that he’s sure he’ll overflow with any moment now.

Hell, he’s probably already let some of everything he’s feeling spill in the past few minutes—in the way he held her, caressed her, spoke to her. In the way he kissed her closed eyelids.

He feels so out of control.

And that’s saying something because Zachary can swear he’s fighting the hardest battle he’s ever had to fight with himself. He’s never had to physically muster up all the self-control in him—but now he does. He can feel his muscles strain, and stiffen, and shift. Can feel his limbs tighten and grow taut with the effort to just hold back and not wrap his entire self around her until he’s dead certain the hurt he’s caused has been squeezed out of her system.

If he could have his way, he’d kiss every inch of her precious face.

From temple to jaw, and chin to cheek, and forehead to nose. He’d whisper an apology into every decimetre of her skin, kiss after tender kiss.

But the red flag inside his head that tells him she might read too much into it acts a barrier, restraining him from going to show just how much he wants to take away the pain he’s caused.

His mouth once blurted out that he’d die first than willingly hurt her—but it is only now, with this feverish heat consuming his body, that his brain and heart begins to surrender to that fact. Does that mean his soul always knew?

Zachary removes his hands from around her elbows, worried that the slight trembling he’s started to feel will drip from his fingertips into her. He doesn’t want her to feel his tremors, not when he himself doesn’t understand why he’s having such a physical reaction to holding her close and attempting to comfort her. His entire body feels flushed with heat, that if he doesn’t know any better he might actually believe he’s coming down with a fever.

Unable to openly display the fullest extent of his affection and care for her, but also not able to let her go just yet, Zachary gingerly threads his fingers through her hair. “I’d kiss the skin above your heart for hurting it too,” he says to her, hoping to hell that his voice isn’t shaking. “But…”

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