➶ A C T : HUMRAAZ ➴

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[ humraaz ]

(n.) "hum" as in "you & I"

"raaz" as in "secret"

"raaz" as in "secret"

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originates from Persian roots, but found its way into the Urdu vocabulary;

combined together, it possesses a more intimate nature (as with anything that is joined with the prefix "hum") no definitive English equivalent; but the idea is that it means a close confidante, someone to pour your secrets into.

» they say that Rome wasn't built in a day, but it burnt in one.
and it makes me think of you, of how it took several heartbeats, countless moments, and endless mornings and endless nights—how it took a lifetime to build a home with you.
it makes me think of how that home shattered in the blink of an eye.
i stand amongst the debris and ashes of an old love, of a tainted love; it is the space between a black abyss and a full heart, the space between nothing and everything — this is where i float, lost and unguided.
i cannot remember if there was ever a time when i was soft, if i was ever silk and feathers. i only know who i am now, and it feels like thorns and icicles, shards of glass and burnt metal.
there flows an ocean of pain inside this heart, a chasm of grief and endless ache, and i see it pour down in torrents from the sky, the horrors i cannot speak roaring amongst the clouds and the sinking sun.
and, oh, how i long for a safe space to take a little shelter from this storm. for a fireplace or a warm body.
and your hands, oh, your hands. they catch each teardrop like a child dancing in the pouring rain, and i think — oh, here's my shelter.
Rome might have not been built in a single day and yet burnt in one. and my heart might have taken a lifetime to love, yet eviscerated in a single beat
but, like Rome, i will be rebuilt.
and within the shelter of your arms,
i will learn to trust my heart again «

Ali Merci © 2020

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