Bruise (Chanyeol Angst) by peachykaix

BRUISE [ III ]

The white cream swirled about in the dark coffee in front of you, your fingers clasped around the warm, pastel orange mug as the steam floated up in hazy waves. There were signs of life all around you, couples sharing intimate lunches and students laughing away their course work. The street outside the window in front of you was busy, bustling with people and lined with fall kissed trees, branches adorned in warm tones, rustling when a breeze blew. Despite the heat of life all around you, you felt cold, like

your bones were made of ice, like your heart was encased in snow. The book across the table was pushed aside as Minseok sat back down, coffee in hand and round golden glasses perched on his nose as he exhaled heavily, ready to listen.

"Do you want to start or should I?"

His voice was firm but not forceful, eyes looking at you over the brim of his mug as he lifted it to his lips for a small sip, careful not to burn himself. Your fingers were burning from holding the hot cup in your hands so long, but you didn't bother moving them away, wanting to feel anything other than the empty anxiety coursing through you.

Waking up and realizing just how stupid you were had hurt, finding the empty spot in the bedsheets beside you, barely a trace the almost intimate moment had happened. To think you actually expected him to stay, to be there when you woke up and show any sort of care for you, any sort of hint that inside him there was someone who wanted you for more than his sexual desires. It took it all out of you, the whole weekend spent burying yourself in textbooks and essays to distract your screaming mind.

When Monday morning rolled around, and your course work was all finished, the overwhelming loneliness began to creep through your bones. The incredible longing for someone who would never want you took over every inch of you, making the world seem dull and harsh, set out to remind you that it could be cruel. To remind you that it could put you up on the tallest peak of a mountain just to knock you off of it, pounding your body into every ledge and ridge on the way down.

Minseok had been patient waiting for you to agree to talk about things, letting you pick the time and place for the conversation. You'd picked a coffee shop in the hopes you wouldn't get too emotional, you were usually better at holding yourself together in public than you were behind closed doors.

"I don't really know where to start Min." You spoke with honesty, voice void of liveliness as you heaved out a heavy sigh, fingers slipping from the cup to instead rest on the wooden table top, the sleeves of your fuzzy black sweater covering half your palms.

"How long have you two been..." He trailed off, hesitant to say the words out loud, able to detect your fragile state. He was always an observant person, his beautiful eyes catching things your other friends didn't see, his mind processing things faster than the anyone else. He always had his nose buried in a book but his ears were in tune with his surroundings, never missing a beat.

"About seven months." Your voice was soft, eyes downcast and staring at the patterns of the wood before you, hands lifting the mug up to your lips to take a gulp of the steaming liquid. The bitter taste was welcomed, the cup making a small clink as it resumed its position on the table. His heavy sigh dragged out slowly, and you could see without even looking the way his lips would have downturned just enough to make you want to hide.

"And how long have you had feelings for him?"

"Four months ago is when I started feeling them, but they've been getting stronger the past two."

Your head lifted to lock eyes with your friend, the frown you'd envisioned exactly where you expected on his features, his hand raising to push his curled black locks away from his forehead as he nodded. You didn't bother lying about liking him, it was painfully obvious to him, you were sure, otherwise he wouldn't have been staring at you the way he was. You sipped your drink again, watching as the cogs in his head turned, contemplating what to say to the bit of information you'd given.