Cliché (Miya Atsumu)

22

Oh, how wrong I was.

Growing up truly makes you get out of your comfort zone.

I met a girl who I thought was really pretty and nice. This was at the time when I was gullible, inexperienced, and still very ambitious.

This was around the beginning of my third-year in middle school, I remember confessing to my first ever love interest. She was the same age as me and I first met her in a local volleyball club I went to. We weren't attending the same school however, just the same local club.

Her name isn't really important anymore, but I can recollect how bewildered I was near her. Whenever I saw her I got this fluttering sensation in my chest and my courage felt like it was in my throat.

She accepted my confession after a while of being friends, the happiness I was experiencing flooded out my heart, it was practically uncontainable. It was the special kind of delight that I never felt before. I recall myself talking non-stop every night about her to Osamu and telling mom that she was the girl I wanted to marry (which is exceptionally embarrassing when she brings it up).

This was all very new to me, and I was so overjoyed about having a girlfriend. I assumed that she felt similar as well.

But things changed slightly.

Our relationship delved further into a month or so, mainly it being me giving her all the free time I had, but she never seemed to show many reactions nor did I receive any back. When I had the chance, I even got out of school early to walk home with her, sometimes she canceled last minute.

I overheard this girl talk about me a lot to her friends on the phone but oddly didn't talk much with me in general. I was really perplexed, but my stubborn presumption was because she was simply just shy around me.

It must've been her first relationship too, I thought. She's new to this too.

Later I realized that we were quickly drifting apart as she didn't really make an effort to talk to me no longer. We ceased calling, texting, and talking slowly.

When I wanted to hang out with her, she always had an excuse or when I called her it ended in less than three minutes at times.

"I love you," I told her and she bluntly replied a, "Me too." Nothing else after, just a switch in topics or an end in conversation. It felt sour and fake. I was wondering if she stopped liking me or found me tedious to be around which made me notably insecure.

We then finished talking completely in the third month, which is when I believed it was over.

Strangely I wasn't as heartbroken as I thought I'd be; because her leaving was so stolid and gradual. It was as if she skillfully waited for me to lose interest to also slip out rather than telling me face to face.

It wasn't painful, but I was definitely sad.

High school, in my first year, I got another girlfriend.

This time she confessed to me. I was surprised and wanted another chance of having a successful relationship, so I accepted it without considering the consequences.

The new girl showered me with compliments, regarding how I looked most of the time and the number of friends I had, nothing else other than that. It was certainly flattering but promptly got old to listen to.

She was engrossed in the so-called social status I had apparently, rather than who I was as a person.

Similar to my previous experience, I overheard this girl also talk about me to her friends.