Heartless

❆ Thirty ❆

Pain blazed through my veins. My fingers searched blindly for purchase, something to grab onto to pull myself up. I was drained of everything, and as I watched Beast's back and chest spasm wildly beyond my help and heard his cries, any hope I'd had deserted me. The tears fell harder now from both of us. "B... Beast," I croaked, my rasp lost in his screams. They were deeper now, his voice dark and monstrous and nothing at all like I remembered from the last time he'd changed before my eyes. "Beast, please. Don't leave." I was sobbing now, my entire resolve crumbling around me. After all of this, after everything we'd been through, he couldn't leave now. Not now. Not ever.

Beast's hands were stained with blood. An image flashed in my mind— a picture from the book. "The Beast devours the heart of the human sacrifice to replace the one he does not have; one heart gives him one more year of life." I glanced over at the sword. "One heart gives him one year of life." One heart, one life. My heart. I stretched my arm for the sw—

More pain flared across my stomach. I cried out and fell against the divan, pressing my hand to my soaked shirt. Blood stained my clothes and the carpet beneath me. I gazed down at my stomach. Shadows darkened my vision. Somewhere in the distance, the fire still breathed, but my skin was cold now, frozen and clammy— like death. The pain throbbed deep inside me. The world swayed from under me. I grabbed at my surroundings to stop myself from falling, but the only thing I touched was air. My head slammed against the ground. I shivered. Why was the room so cold? "Be..." My lips felt numb, and suddenly all I wanted to do was close my eyes.

Beast's voice wormed through the murmurs of cold in my ears. "Adaira— Adaira, look at me— don't close your eyes— you're going to be okay." He screamed again, but the sound was getting farther and farther away. The world shifted again, this time a soft cushion against my back and a warm pillow under my head. Beast hovered over me— my beast. He was holding me. "Stay with me, Adaira," he urged, and the desperation in his voice poked a hole in the fog in my mind.

"Home," I said softly. He looked down at me. "Home, Beast. I want to go home."

He nodded vigorously. "I know, I know you do. Just hold on a bit longer, I promise, I'll—"

"I went home— back with Hendric and Kenji to Kinnot." Fits of coughs racked my body. The pain surged into my chest and slowly devoured my legs. It was eating me alive and I just wanted it to end. The taste of metal lingered in my mouth. "All I ever wanted was to go home." I fought the pain in my body to lift my hand toward his face. He tangled our fingers together and brought them to his lips, holding it to his broiling cheek. He shifted slightly and a spasm tightened my back. I cried out.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. His thumb smeared the tears, his arms drawing me closer to his chest.

"But when I got there, I realized all I wanted was you. Because you are my home, Beast. You. Not Kinnot."

He trembled harder now, but his change was no longer the reason why. A tear dribbled down to the tip of his bloody nose. "Then don't leave me. Promise me, Adaira. Swear you won't leave me." He squeezed my hand tighter, but instead of the heat of it pumping warmth through me, ice filled my veins.

I hoped my smile reassured him better than it did me. "I promise."

For a while, we stared at each other, the two of us gazing into each other's eyes as if it were for the last time. And I knew it was. My body was heavy now, and the strength I used to stay awake waned with every passing second. I couldn't let it be for nothing.

Somehow, my limp hand was still curled around the hilt of the sword. I poured my strength into moving that arm to grab his attention. "I want you to take my heart, Beast. Completely, this time." He stared at the sword in— what? I didn't know. Fear? Shock? Hope? I didn't know this look, but I prayed it was what I wanted it to be. "Take it so you can live and fix this. Fix everyone. Kinnot, my brothers, Lumea and Mrs. Potter. Coggington and Kit. Everyone. Fix it for them."

"I can't—"

"You can and you will. Don't fight with me on this. Not this time. Please. Just take it." I dragged the sword closer to my hip, painfully pulling my hand out of his to his fingers to the blade. "It has always belonged to you." My fingers shook as I secured his around the hilt. "I love you, Beast."

He stared at the sword in his hand. Finally, I felt like I could close my eyes and go peacefully. But he wasn't finished. "No."  He threw the sword down, far out of my reach. More tears pushed to my eyes and my lips quivered. "Because then I'd have nothing to live for." Leaning down to me, he pressed his forehead to mine. "You are my heart, Adaira. And I can't live without you." His lips moved over mine in the best and simplest and last kiss I'd ever have: "I love you."

And then it all faded.