Kenny's Teddy Bear

                I always wonder where my Mama goes. She tells me that she is leaving for a while and that she will be back as soon as she can. I miss her when she leaves because it feels like forever until I see her again. Today she said it to me again, "Kenny, mama will be going out for a little bit. Please be good while I'm gone."

Mama leaves me some snacks and a microwave dinner for me in the refrigerator. I haven't been very hungry lately, so I haven't been eating a whole lot.

I just turned eight a few months ago and mama and I had a party to ourselves. She had bought me a cake and a gift, which had contained a little stuffed brown bear with a blue ribbon tied around its neck. It was the first teddy bear I had ever received, and it instantly became my favorite toy. I have slept with my teddy bear every night since then. Mama tucks me in and lays my teddy next to me to help me feel safe.

"Papa bought you this bear so you would always feel close to him." Mama told me. "He told me to tell you that this bear signifies his love for you and that he misses you every day he's not here."

I held my teddy tight after hearing those words, and Mama kisses me on the forehead. She heads over to my bedroom door to turn out my light and then closes my door.

The next morning, the smell of pancakes wakes me up, but I have no desire to eat anything, so I crawled out of bed and sat on my hard wood floor. I wondered what Mama was going to do today. She left me a little note on the front of my dresser, and it read:

My dearest boy, I will be out again today.

Please eat something today. You need your strength.

Love, Mama.

I folded the note up and put it on my night stand. I pulled out a pair of jeans and a T – shirt with a baseball bat printed on the front. I slipped those on along with my socks and shoes.

I turned and looked at my bed and saw that my teddy was propped up against the headboard. I got up and went over to him and picked him up. Teddy seemed so worn with how much I played with him, but he was still my favorite. I took him downstairs with me and sat in the living room. Mama had left the television on with Sesame Street playing, so I sat and watched with Teddy until she came home.

Mama came in the door and another woman had followed her in. As a shy boy, I stayed in the living room and looked over the back of the chair.

"Mrs. Stewart, I really do advise that you look into a more professional therapist. I cannot help you with this. It is out of my hands." The woman said to Mama.

"I can't Denise, I can barely afford to care for myself and Kenny. Insurance just won't cover the expenses." Mama sighed. She looked like she was crying before they walked in the door.

Denise pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sat down. She patted another chair signaling Mama do the same, which she did. I watched intently, feeling worry and sadness fill my heart as I observe the obvious distress Mama was in.

Denise laid a hand on mama's knee, "I understand the circumstances, but this is not helping you get better. You need to leave Kenny and start a new life."

Mama swatted her hand away, "No! No, I can't leave my son. He is all I have since my husband passed." Mama put her hands in her face and sobbed.

I was angry at this Denise lady for hurting my mama and suggesting she leave me. I took teddy and threw him into the kitchen with the intent of hitting Denise. Instead, it landed at her feet. She looked down at the bear and frowned.