Hello, @SymonPude.
Yes, I know you must be feeling extremely surprised right now - I don't blame you. You also may be wondering why my grammar is suddenly perfect, and alas, the day finally comes where my grammar and punctuation trumps that of yours. I will not allow you the opportunity to belittle my writing as if I am an insect and you are a bigger insect - no. Today I am the superior one.
Now, the real reason I am writing to you here today is because I was stalking your account earlier. Five minutes ago to be precise. I couldn't help but notice that you have a work by the name of '8 questions', though if I may interject, the 'q' in 'questions' should really be a capital Q, as it is a title.
Any-who, that is of little importance.
I am insulted that I, Universally Incorrect, was not approached by you, Symon Pude, to do this marvellous interview. I believe it would get me the clout I strive to attain throughout my WattPad career. I understand that it clearly states in the first chapter of this '8 questions' that I, if by any means wanted to be interviewed, should contact you. However, I think we can all agree that I am NOT a beggar and it would significantly hinder my pride. Therefore, I am asking you to ask me to be interviewed by you.
Now, onto the bigger problem.
Symon, Pudey-boi, Pymon Sude... your ass doesn't follow me. You seem to be very exclusive in who you follow, a fact I cleverly compiled from the statistics apparent on your WattPad profile (you only follow five people), and I would very much like to be the sixth. Please tell me what you think. I have even followed you, though I only followed you a few minutes ago, I still followed you. That itself is a decision I rarely make. Use this power wisely.
Thank you for your time, and please consider my offers.
Kind regards,
Universally Incorrect
Sent from iPhone
